And we are able to swim across the pool in 5 days and we have lost 1kg of weight in 5 days inspite of eating like a pig
Thats all we want to say today, anything can be better than that? 😉
Yes thats how the last three days have been in our household reason my little prince my darling little boy has gone to his bua’s house for a sleep over with his cousins. Since his vacations have started he has been giving me statements like “its so boring no”, “mumma I am getting bored please do something about it” so when his cousins called him over we thought why not, lets try it. This is his first sleep over ever and we very apprehensive that whether he will really stay overnight or not? Will he sleep without me may be heart in heart even hoping that he wont 😉 and at the same time actually looking forward to the couple time we would get after 3 years… how would it be we had almost forgotten… true we have do movies and drives and dinners without him but two days without him thats a first…
So we dropped him and waved him bye and came back home to an empty house and started to enjoy the freedom… watched a movie, browsed the net, fiddled around with my new kindle u get the idea did lots while doing nothing
The fact that we can watch TV and no one will switch it off, the fact that we can actually read without someone jumping on me and when I read I can actually read the book I want to not the one that he wants… no one starts to dance when me and N talk so that he doesn’t get ignored… liberating huhn? Think again for a while yes but after that both of us are missing him indeed
Its a very mixed feeling as all other parenting milestones are, a feeling or proud, relief and zap of loneliness and a tiny bit heart break all rolled into one 🙂 So we are enjoying the silence and the emptiness in the house while he enjoys there and refuses to come back…
How is life been with u? long time right?
Asha was playing hop-scotch with her sisters and brothers in the vast empty field behind her house in Punjab, they were a big family of 3 sisters and 2 brothers and a loving mother who used to stitch clothes for people in order to raise the five kids. Just when it was Asha’s turn to beat her elder sister, their mother called them saying their favorite newly wed uncle had come visiting them along with his bride…. She started dreaming of sweets and gifts that were always the part of uncle’s visits. They played and she instantly liked her aunt and just when the uncle and aunt were about to leave for the big city the aunt told her mother that she wants to take Asha along with her, not for a visit but to bring her up… to give her a life and education that she can’t afford her. The mother with a heavy heart packed Asha’s stuff and parceled her to Delhi without even checking with her, it was for her own good after all…
The aunt was very nice to Asha, send her to a school to take formal education at the same time taught her all the things right for a girl cooking, sewing, knitting, taking care of the house and years passed away. Aunt had her own kids and they loved Asha to bits she was their elder sister…. And than Asha was deemed to be of an age where we think its best to get rid of them… yes my dear friends Asha was ready for marriage or was declared ready for marriage…
Couple of alliances came by and she was married off to the one that her aunt and uncle seemed to be liked. From her side aunt did a good job of trying to go for the one which came through a reference, the wedding was done with the usual India fan fare and she once again had to leave the house she thought was hers and go make another house her own and live happily ever after. However God had different plans for her… Couple of months after the wedding she came to know that her husband actually had no work and it would not be tolerated if she tried to work too and just as she was thinking how to deal with it she missed her dreaded monthly period and came to know that well she is pregnant…
She decided to reason it out with her husband that he has to work, decided to reason out that he should let her work and all she got were abuses and along with abuses sometimes would follow a few slaps too… she tired to talk to her mother in law and more abuses flew her way, hasn’t her mother taught her anything? or wait your mother didn’t want you right , she sent u to your aunt. Hasn’t your aunt taught u anything? Burdened and not wanting to trouble her aunt and uncle she tolerated it till she could and than one fine day her husband dropped her back in her aunt’s house along with a toddler and another baby in the stomach.
Aunt and uncle were shocked according to them they had married her to a good guy.. what was all this now? However like any Indian parents they tried to solve the matter… Uncle gave the husband a job in his company and aunt advised Asha to be more tolerant and sent her back after all she had her own kids to take care of…
As if the problems in her life were not enough God decided to give her another blow… She fell sick really sick and was hospitalized for months all together when the aunt tried to manage the hospital, her house, her job and her kids. Asha’s mother was promptly called from the village to take care of her and she slowly recovered… Doctors told her and the family they can’t predict how long will she live, her platelets count had dipped down to 5000 (when the normal is 150,000 to 450,000) and all this while the only thing she was thinking was what will happen to her daughter if she dies… Asha decided that she had to live, she had to live for her daughter, her son and for the past 10 years that’s what she has been doing… living with a platelet count which ranges in anywhere between 5000 to a maximum of 20000… When she goes to a doctor they check her 5 times saying that no a person with such a low platelet count can’t even stand and you have come for the test yourself and she didn’t just live, she took care of the whole family, all the household work and cooking and managing the house in the small amount that she would get from her aunt and mother in law
Asha has battled against all odds to stand for her daughter, she gave her the education that she wanted to with the help of her aunt and uncle and her sisters… she got beaten herself so that she can prevent her daughter. Today Asha’s daughter is working in a company and earns a salary to make her live comfortably, Asha’s son has just finished his education and is looking for a job and the husband yeah all he does is shout why is he shirt not ironed but when he does that he knows his own children will tell him why
Asha is a women I am proud of, I may not agree with all her choices but hell she made them with whatever little she had in life and stood by them as a rock
And this is my entry for the Womens Web contest
When I got a mail from Women’s Web talking about this contest, since than its been running in my mind… who is my FemInspiration?
A lot of people came to my mind, my mum who brought up three crazy but strong daughter, my granny who was the emotional backbone of the whole family and kept them together till she was living, N’s granny who was handling the whole fields and living all by herself in the village till about 4 years ago i.e till she was 80 or a maid who worked for me – who was married when she was 12 and is working only to raise money for her daughters education inspite of the fact that she has to often tolerate domestic abuse. If we look around us there are enough strong women around us… Women who have stood against the test of time and proven their worth, proven they can do anything… they are ordinary women like u and me…
But as I was thinking of all this I thought of an extra ordinary woman in terms of strength, in terms of sheer will power to live for her kids… she has defied medical science, she has defied all logic, she has fought with every force in her life through her silence and tolerance a path may be I won’t have chosen… The above is a true story (a little fictionalized for the sake of her life) of a woman who is very very dear to me and right now at the end of the post I have my eyes full of tears… I request you all to pray for her happiness and peace forever
And yeah Happy Womens Day to each one of you… All you Strong women out there.. u inspire me 🙂
That glass that you shoved up in the corner of the kitchen inside a container of old things that we don’t use is a heirloom of my family passed down three generations, my mum used it, I used it and ojas did too when he was a child and I thought I told you that when mum handed it over to it.
Please I request you to leave that glass alone
PS: I know I know dont pounce on me saying she is not random person the title just went with me regular rant posts 😉
PPS: I don’t rant about her often here but sometimes it just helps to get things out of the system so lets take it that way
Dear Readers of the blog & Followers in Twitter,
I love you a lot and appreciate the fact that you take time out to read the crap I write, I really do but I have certain requests to make of you when you send me a FB friend request
Now people don’t get me wrong and label me as a snob after this post, I do understand that people like us who choose to spend their life online have to make some sacrifices somewhere but at the same time I think we are all mature enough to understand the difference between the three mediums – Blog, Twitter and FB. Blog and Twitter are online presence open to all we chose what we put there, its about sharing ones thoughts and opinions whereas FB gets very personal its about sharing your life, the pictures and the lives of your friends.
So please folks lets understand these differences and respect them
Have you experienced the helplessness when you start cutting an onion and the tears flowing have absolutely no relation to the bitterness of the onion
When you just can’t understand why are the tears flowing anyway, no logic or reason can justify them
When you cry even harder when someone comes and asks you what happened everything all right
When it feels that you might just melt away in a bucket of tears when held and given a hug
Today is just one of these days for me 😦
Isn’t that a very catchy number, a number one would like to dance on… and keep on dancing I have been wanting to see this movie since it released and Ritu posted about it but my husband was not interested in watching it so I was wondering to when Wednesday a friend called me in the morning saying would I like to come along with her to watch the movie and I was jumping with joy yes yes yes ofcourse
And what a lovely movie. It was fun, good timepass and well executed but I think what I loved about the movie most was it made me warm inside for Delhi. It made me miss Delhi even more. The movie is soaked in Delhi right from the first scence where they show the metro, the delhi university, the cycle rickshaws, the banta, the bark ka golla…. damn I miss it…
The movie has captured Delhi so well that I don’t think any other movie did atleast the part of Delhi it wanted to capture… the fun loving loud Delhi…. the weddings… sigh I agreee its a waste of money but I can guarantee you there can’t be a wedding which is more fun than the wedding in Delhi…
And this movie made me miss Delhi to an extent that I was found crying on the things that the whole theatre was laughing at Damn I cant’t wait for Feb when I am off to Delhi for a cousin’s wedding no less where we will dancing a lot…. and I am sure Avin Avin will be played a lot
Some memories are just deep encrusted in ones minds and hearts and one of those memories or a set of memories for me is Delhi Winter. Though its been a little more than 9 years I have moved to Bangalore and started calling it home and slowly loving the city too I sorely miss the Delhi Winters, every December I go into a sad mode when I hear about the winters in Delhi from friends and family.
It reminds me of those early school morning where we would just not be able to get up and dad would be shouting and we just murmring 2 more mins from the warmth of the rajai (quilt)
It reminds me of those lazy lazy afternoons we would spend a dari (rug) spread on the terrace soaking in sun, pretending to study with a book in hand sometimes alone and sometimes chatting with a friend
It reminds me of those times in the winter vacations and sometimes otherwise in the early evenings too when all the aunties of the street will sit together in a corner on a charpai (cot) knitting and exchanging colony gossip and we kids will get a chance to do whatever we wanted to 😉
It reminds me of those lovely evenings and nights when we will all get inside the biggest rajai in the house and eat moongfali (peanuts) endlessly and than we would push each other to get out if anything is needed
It reminds me of those fights we would have when we get into a rajai which has been already warmed by someone else 😉
It reminds of those morning paranthas and pickle breakfasts and steaming hot besan ka seera to end the day with
It reminds me of that yummy gajar ka halwa and the yummier sarsoon ka saag and the pinni made by mom, those gajaks and gur after every meal
It reminds of my of those morning where you would get up on the terrace to see nothing yeah the fog would have created the zero visibility and it reminds me of that hot cup of boost that dad used to make for us on those days
So last week when we in Bangalore woke up to see a fog similar to what used to be DilliKiSardi… ofcourse we were very happy 😀
And seeing Ojas as excited about the fog and enjoying his cup of boost watching it, made me even more nostalgic… I guess its true… memories are for a lifetime
Just 5 minutes back I was reading a post by Starry, the post stuck a chord. Now the readers here know I have been battling with weighty issues for a long time now. Due to health problems etc etc I am what they call in common language FAT or even obese…Well now I know it and u can see it too but does it help when u call me that in face? I have posted before on how I was bullied through the school on being fat. Let me tell you what happened with me sometime back actually quite sometime back about a year or so…
Me and N had both decided that we seriously wanted to give yoga a try and inquired around a bit and got to know of this yoga instructor who came to our society to teach some people. People said he is good and called him Guruji… so I took the number and fixed a time for about 6am in the morning for the first class where he will teach just N and me… now I am not a morning person but still got up at 5:30 in the morning, did the routine morning tasks and reported for the class at sharp 5:55 am in the club house.
A middle aged fit man walked in at around 6 and introduced him as Guruji…We all sat down and he started asking us why we want to do yoga… N went ahead and told him the usual – holistic exercise treatment, stress reliever etc. He turned to me and before I could say anything he said “I can see you are obese, what else is your problem” The statement irked my already irritated self in the morning. But I decided to ignore that statement thinking he just might be wanting to be technically correct and told him about my other health problems and that what I want to achieve from yoga is feel healthy and yes losing weight is one part of it, he gave me a look which was like what losing weight is just a part of it? anyways he started teaching me and what would happen would be as follows
Guruji : Take your hand like up…… …… …. (turns to me) its ok if you can’t do this. U are obese no…
Guruji : Bend down, lift ur leg up…. ….. …. …. (turns to me) its ok u dont do, U are obese no….
and this became his way of talking, with every time he used the word I was drawn away from any respect one can have for a GURUJI…
The second day of the practice he came up to me and said.
U must detox your body, be on a liquid diet for as long as possible. Atleast 1 week to 10 days. And take Isabgol and clean your system. You must have loose motions. You are obese no…
I was like what??????????? Anyways I still tried to listen to him thinking that he is the guru after all
and than after 2 days a lady came inquiring to him that can he teach her at the same time he is teaching us, though we had paid through our nose for a private class we didnt really have a problem because there is hardly any difference in 2 or 3 and plus the lady was our neighbour but man guruji had some other thoughts and thak before even checking with us he replied…
No I can’t teach you with them, u see if it was only this gentleman it would not have been a problem but here we have her also, as you can see she is obese and I need to deal with her differently. So please I can’t teach you with them.
And I was like WTF????And that was the last day I did any yoga with him… Now in all possibilities I don’t think he meant me any harm or wanted to really insult me. But he was really insensitive about the way he spoke and that hurt me infact hurt a lot and I was put off yoga for a very long time.
I really fail to understand that why a simplest thing like being sensitive to people’s physical or any other problems is so difficult for us
I have a very very close childhood friend who had a birthmark near her eye, the veins in one of her lower eyelid were swollen since birth and hence protruding out. This left a huge scar on her self esteem. As if battling with that was not often she would have to deal with all kind of things from people. I have myself shouted back at people who came up to her and asked her “so you are kani (can’t seen from one eye)” one person even told her to make use of handicapped qouta to get admission somewhere as she can understand aakhn ke wagah se padh nahin paate hoge (due to the eye u might not be able to sudy well)???? and this when she actually had a perfect sight….
I don’t understand why it’s so important for us to judge and slot people. fat or slim? fair or dark? adopted or not? tall or short? Why can’t we just let people be people? I loved what starry said (and dear I am quoting u here word to word)
I have friends who are overweight or even obese. I will not call them fat. Not because I feel pity for them, nor do I think it’s bad to have excess weight, nor do I have contempt for them. It’s because I know what they are put through for having a body shape that many people look down on, have a problem and judgments about, and how they have numerous traumatic and super-challenging experiences as a result of the discrimination. My friend is my friend, she’s not her weight…to me.
And it’s not just about the weight it’s about everything (read her post which talks about Adoption and many more things). I think we need to learn to be sensitive towards people, chose our words with care and sensitivity and say them with empathy…
In short Tol Mol Ke Bol
Whoever said (and if no one did than I am doing it now 😉 ) that when you have so much to say that you dont know where to begin, try talking in bullet points. So that is what I am going to do now.
Ok I think thats all in bullets as of now… u tell me hows ur life in bullets these days?