Raising a Reader : Some Parenting Thoughts

Tags

books, how to get kids to read, Ojas, parenting, parenting thoughts, raising a reader, reading

There are some sights that warm your heart like when you finish a call and see your child buried in a book you know you have done something right 🙂 Fortunately for me its a sight that I get to witness very often, Aren’t pictures like this very heartwarming. They give me hope that reading is not going to die a slow death to ipads and the likes. They give me hope that books are going to be alive and the kids of the next generation will still know the pleasures like smell of a book

People often look at O and tell me you must be lucky, he loves books so much, these days kids hardly read all they want is an iPad. Though I agree that touchwood I have been lucky but this luck has come its share of hardwork.

Reading is a habit I wasn’t introduced to as a child. I mean neither my mom or dad are into reading big time and while growing up reading meant course books. However that changed somewhere when one of my uncles introduced me to Famous Five and there hasn’t been any looking back ever since. So whenever I used to think about my child there was one thing clear in my head, love of reading is something I want to pass down to child… Love of reading is something I want to introduce to him as early as possible and something I was keen to cultivate in him. So here are just a few things I did and think should generally to encourage reading in your child

Give him a headstart : The first thing I ever bought for him was a book, yeah might sound funny but its true. We started reading to him as soon as we could settle down with the initial euphoria and madness of becoming parents. Did he understand, most likely not but kids have memory and that made him comfortable with books. Fabric books, books with textures and board books are perfect for kids.. By the time he was 5 months, he would often lie like this and play with his favorite fabric book

Take time to read to him : As they grow older, take time to read to him EVERYDAY… Make a schedule, a time of the day which is dedicated to reading.. May be bed time? In our house time before bed time is reading time. We started with reading one book to him when he was small, slowly the number of books increased (he asked for it) and we would read four books to him. Now we read two books to him, he reads two himself and then sleeps

Let them choose the books : From as early as one year, O had preference on what books he likes, encourage them to select what books they want to read to. Read those books everytime they want. It might get boring to you as they will want the same book over and over again but trust me they will eventually get done with it and move on to another. The thing is the they can only assimilate little and also familiarity is a big thing at that age and hence they want to read it over and over again

Nothing like a good library : Reading can be an expensive habit (ask me ask me) also there is nothing like a charm of a library. Introduce your child to a library early in life. There are kids libraries in town like Hippocampus, as well as bigger libraries like Easy Lib have kids section. Take him, let me explore, let him spend time in the company of books. Let him learn to relish them

Make it a part of the family time : At our house, you can often find all three of us immersed in our respective books sitting next to each other. Make it a habit to read together, when the child is younger give them picture books and let me just browse through it. Start with smaller time durations even 5 minutes is good and slowly increase as the concentration span of your kids increases and he goes from seeing pictures to reading himself. Switch off that TV and open books for the family time and you can thank me later 😉

and last but not the least – the biggest way kids learn is by example, so pick up that book yourself too 🙂

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Turning Five and becoming a Beeeg Boy

Tags

family, lessons from parenting, motherhood, Ojas, parenting, personal

Dear Ojas,

Yes so my child, the brat, the prince.. yes you turn 5 today. Before I get into other details, can someone explain how did this happen? Where did the time fly? Wasn’t it just yesterday that I remember seeing those two lines on the pregnancy test and first jumping in joy and then sitting down and crying because I couldn’t believe it was true. Wasn’t it just yesterday when I went for my first ever scan all scared and tensed, wasn’t it just yesterday when I saw you the first time on that ultrasound screen your smart dad trying to see from all angles if he can figure out the gender 😉 Wasn’t it just yesterday that I went through the most traumatic night of my life when we were told that we have lost you and wasn’t it just yesterday that we finally held you in our hands at a full term contrary to what every doctor predicted, wasn’t it just yesterday my child? It certainly feels like that

Now anyone can see how you have grown in the last 5 years, from a tiny infant to when you started crawling to walking to talking (phew that is when my peace vanished :P), you started going to school and started learning to think logically, articulate and observe a lot of things, you started to fall in love with cars and bikes and ATV’s and that is when dada became the hero of your life and the focus from mumma started to move a bit (and yes your dad is right I am jealous 😉 ), you started to begin being independent and I know that this is just a start. I have seen you grown leaps and bounds in the past 5 years and I think everyone around has, however today I want to thank you for how you have helped me grow in the past years. Grow as a mother, grow as a human being, grow as a feminist, grow as a cook, grow in every part of my life.

You came in my life a little more than 5 years ago and the first thing you taught me was fear and the power of prayers. I have always been the one who used to think everything is in your hands, you can make and break your own life but when I first felt you inside me I knew the power of prayers, I don’t know how but the mind automatically wanted to reach out to the one above and pray for you, you taught me what a strong emotion fear could be and how fear of losing ones dear one can make you do anything even if means being confined in bed for 9 months, even if it means praying everyday, multiple times during those 9 months.

When I held you for the first time in my hands, you taught me what delicate and precious means. You taught me what unconditional love is but most importantly you taught me that being dependent on someone you love isn’t really a bad thing, you taught me that its ok to be looked after sometimes and that you need it badly sometimes.

While struggling with those initial days of breastfeeding problems, PPD, colic you taught me patience and that a mom can never have enough of it, it’s a different matter all together that now you test it everyday 😉

When you fell sick for the first time you taught me the real meaning of the phrase “Doctors are God” and I am sure every mom will agree with me on that, till then doctors were just people to me, people with fancy degrees. However that day he became a God to me.

When you were trying to learn to walk, falling 100 times a day but getting up again and trying, crying not when you fell but crying if we tried to help you get up, child then you taught me perseverance

When I shouted and screamed at you the first time because I was too stressed, too bogged up by cooking, cleaning, feeding and changing you and you looked at me with those eyes that silently said “mumma calm down” you taught me that how much important ME time is for everyone in this world, whether it’s from you or your dad… you taught me that I function well after my timeout 🙂

When you became a fussy eater, refusing every thing we put on plate, you taught me to be creative in the kitchen and improve my skills (yes yes I know its a way to keep my frustrations away but god knows all mum needs loads of them :))

When you went on the stage for the first time, you taught me what pride really means. Even if you didn’t do any of the steps that were taught but still I had my heart swelling in pride and eyes wet with tears.

Last but not the least when you test my patience and be stern on what you want, walk away from me and get into your room angry and upset. When you want the logic and clarification of everything I tell you. You taught me a lesson that every parent needs to learn and eventually does learn. You taught me what I did to my parents and what goes around always comes back 😉 because sometimes my dear child I can see so much of myself in you that it frightens me

Happy 5th Birthday my child, a beeeeg boy like you call yourself now and yes I know you want three cakes I am working on it, yet again learning something hopefully

Loads of love

Mumma

Death and beyond

Tags

death, general, kids, life, Ojas, parenting, philosphy

A couple of days ago I took Ojas for his first play “Suar Chala Space“. The play was about animals, spaceships aliens and swine flu 🙂 It was more or less a fun play with loads of dance and music. Cubby and Ojas who went along seem to enjoy the play somewhat, laughing inbetween sometimes because they got the joke and sometimes because everyone else was laughing 😀 Lots of learning about friendship, caring, standing upto your mistakes etc. I totally loved the play, the way it was done perfectly suited for kids I would say. All in all I think I was pretty happy with his first introduction to theatre.

What left me thinking however was one scene in the play, when a buffalo falls sick and dies. The whole act by all means was underplayed. There was no drama or lot of crying involved but I observed that suddenly Ojas’s mood has kind of changed. He has quietened and was looking really sad. I asked him what happened and could see one small teardrop in the corner of his eye and with a very feeble voice he asked me “Mumma why she died”. It made me still for a moment, my heart alternating between pacing and stopping that only a mother can understand… that did my not even 4 yr old understood death? Did he realise that its something wrong? Does he know that we have to be sad when someone dies? I recomposed myself a little and told she wasn’t well and hence she died, he thought and asked me again “Why didn’t she go to a doctor, if she wasn’t feeling well?”. I tried to answer, however the act changed and the music and dance started again catching his attention and he was back to his laughing self in a minute

It left me thinking though, is it time to start talking to him about Life and Death? Touchwood, we haven’t had a death in the close family but life is cruel and you don’t know what it presents you the next minute do you? This was a play, how do you explain stuff like this to kids? I remember my grandma telling me that people become stars and go to the sky when they die, Its such a beautiful idea isn’t it? I know its not true but since my granny died I still like to believe that she is up there as a star looking over me and I can still raise my head and look at her, may be a smile will be passed between us a twinkle

But yeah all these dreamy and emotional ideas apart, tell me god forbid did you go through a need to talk to your kids about death? How did you explain to them? Do you recommend any books that can be read to them? What is the best age one can start talking to them about life and death?

Wordless Wednesday – spiderman and spiderwoman

Tags

Ojas, wordless wednesday

I am sure this will put a smile on ur face 🙂

And we miss posting | Post 28

Tags

NaBloPoMo, Ojas, parenting

on the 28th day, right in the last leg of the NaBloPoMo.. sigh but I am not sad. We had a blast of a day yesterday and I forgot all about the post till late in the night and that time I decided that’s its ok I will probably do two tomorrow than get on the laptop at that time…

Imp’s Mom is here along with Imp and we are all bonding here, me and her and Ojas and imp, the house at any point of time feels like a play ground where they both want to jump around and show us look we are jumping everytime they do, I wonder whats with the need of constant appreciation in kids these days. If I recall my growing up, I don’t think I was told very good, well done every so often but here the case is not like that.

I used to initially think its just Ojas but as I meet more kids I feel its the same everywhere. These days the kids want to be seen and appreciated every single minute when we are around them. For something as simple as finishing food to something which is actually praise worthy like finishing a puzzle or such. I have a constant expression ready on my face, a mixture of amusement and happiness for such situations 😉 I guess its more to do with the parenting style these days, the time we spend with them. The fact that they are mostly alone around. No 10 cousins running around and playing together and encouraging each other, no grandparents around… what do u think?

But I often wonder whether this is ok for them. Will it make them use to of getting so much appreciation all them time and how will it affect them when they grow up?

PS: Ojas is doing well those concerned ones, thanks for the mails, sms and comments. The doc said its nothing serious and we are both doing fine now.

Tired, exhausted, frustated and depressed | Post 27

Tags

motherhood, NaBloPoMo, Ojas, parenting

If the tittle of the post hasn’t put you off till now please read the commentary down. Today is one of these days when I am Tired, exhausted, frustrated and depressed of being a mother. I love being a mother but come on lets face it – its not a easy job and though the smiles and the hugs and the kisses are good rewards there are days it gets pretty frustrating and lonely. Today is one of those days.

The husband has been travelling and is out, we have been night training Ojas and he has been doing great touchwood, he sleeps some 2 hours before us and when we are going to sleep we just take him once again and later he is mostly dry till the morning. once or twice he has even woken us up when he wanted to pee in  the night but yesterday because I was alone it had to be otherwise right? The boy wet the bed three times 😦 As if that was not enough the boy has been behaving like a demon since morning. Shouting and screaming on everything I tell him and not doing exactly the opposite of what I want him to. I have been trying to be patient since this all after all he is a child I say and they have the days when they are allowed to be nasty….

But look what he did sometime back, inspite of my telling him not to he poked himself with this in his ears…

Its his old plastic brush which is broken, one end is pretty sharp and when he was playing with it, I told him not to, took it and threw it in the dustbin. I went to the loo and next thing I hear are screams and crying. And what I see that he has taken it out of the dustbin and poked his ear with it…the ear seemed all red though there was no blood. He cried for about 15 minutes and complained of a lot of pain and finally slept off. An emergency appointment with he doctor has been taken for 6pm and my heart is currently racing faster than a ferrari. I think I just survived a heart attack. How please dont ask me that 😦

I have said that before and I say that again motherhood is the most difficult job I have ever done in my life. Please pray that all be well

Edited to add : May be i should have done this post on his blog but I wasnt really thinking too much, may be will cross post it there.

Lots of Silence and a emptiness

Tags

Ojas, parenting, personal

Yes thats how the last three days have been in our household reason my little prince my darling little boy has gone to his bua’s house for a sleep over with his cousins. Since his vacations have started he has been giving me statements like “its so boring no”, “mumma I am getting bored please do something about it” so when his cousins called him over we thought why not, lets try it. This is his first sleep over ever and we very apprehensive that whether he will really stay overnight or not? Will he sleep without me may be heart in heart even hoping that he wont 😉 and at the same time actually looking forward to the couple time we would get after 3 years… how would it be we had almost forgotten… true we have do movies and drives and dinners without him but two days without him thats a first…

So we dropped him and waved him bye and came back home to an empty house and started to enjoy the freedom… watched a movie, browsed the net, fiddled around with my new kindle u get the idea did lots while doing nothing

The fact that we can watch TV and no one will switch it off, the fact that we can actually read without someone jumping on me and when I read I can actually read the book I want to not the one that he wants… no one starts to dance when me and N talk so that he doesn’t get ignored… liberating huhn? Think again for a while yes but after that both of us are missing him indeed

Its a very mixed feeling as all other parenting milestones are, a feeling or proud, relief and zap of loneliness and a tiny bit heart break all rolled into one 🙂 So we are enjoying the silence and the emptiness in the house while he enjoys there and refuses to come back…

How is life been with u? long time right?

Day 16 : WW30 : DJ Bones

Tags

in ojas book, Ojas, photography, project 365, wordless wednesday

Day 9 : WW29 : Somewhere in a Delhi park

Tags

family, massi and bhanja, Ojas, photography, picture, project 365, somewhere in a delhi park

Camping, Resolutions and more

Tags

2011, camping, family, fun, N, new year eve, Ojas, resolutions

So we went camping on new year eve, among all the confusions and a plan of finally being at home with 2-3 friends turned into a last minute camping plan… a new tent was bought, the food packed… multiple calls made to various people coming and off we went… only hitch was that I was worried as this was Ojas’s first camping and there was no other kid to accompany him but still we went starting me cursing the friend who made this last minute plan but secretly looking forward to it and slowly getting into the groove…

We went to a friend friends farmhouse some 50Kms ahead of Hosur and located in undulating plains with a few rocky hills around, it was just lovely…

The car heading to the camping spot

We reached there just before sunset, thanks to the fast driving of the friend and the rock solid hugging to ground Fortuner that he had…. and got started to pitch the tents and what fun it was…everyone was excited including ojas infact he was the most excited one

And got to what we do the best… making chai 😛 its simply not possible to not have chai when me, V and M are around 😉

and like my header says nothing tastes better than chai made on a chulha

After the chai we just settled down with some bonfire, potatoes and onions roasting in it, some drinks and singing along for fun… inbetween trying to get Ojas entertained… and what fun it was… heating the food we carried around the bonfire wrapped in silver foil… and at 12 happy new years were said to each other and we all happily slept tucked inside our sleeping bags…

And waking up to birds chirping and a lovely fog outside away from civilization I don’t think we could have started the decade in a better way ofcourse there was chai which was missing and we quickly corrected it by making a fresh cup again 😀

 

the morning cup of chai on chulha

We did a small walk/trek post the chai, had bread cheese bhujiya sandwich for breakfast and started back, all in all a very very fine new year eve and the first day of the decade… and I was so glad my son enjoyed camping…  So how was your new year eve, what did u do? partied or chilled out

Last week I also met Meira who was in Bangalore for a day along with Shruti and the famous TS… now I have met Meira before and I love her but trust me guys TS is cooler than she potrays him on the blog 😉 Shruti also brought along with her the gifts that I won on 400th post giveway… thank u darling they are lovely

 

penstand, chumbak playing cards, chumbak bookmarks and a lovely pair of earrings

and shruti ojas decided to fulfill ur wishes by wearing the flower 😉

handmade flower ofcourse by Shruti

And now to the most important part of the post… the resolutions… I know its rather late in the new year (4 days are long no?) to write this but I just didnt get the time to do it before… So the year 2011 has been declared as a year of health and love by me… so there are top 2 resolutions are

• Spend quality time with N and with O and also together as a family : sounds funny but yes after Ojas we really never get around to spend so much time as a couple as we would like to… so now we have decided we will have a date every week on any of the weekday nights… a late night movie.. a quite dinner, a drink on the terrace anything without ojas ofcourse 😉 and I am dedicating Friday lunch or evening coffee with my date with the younger man i.e ojas 🙂 and weekend is family time… no work… no being online (atleast I am gonna try and limit the time to checking tweets on phone once in a while only)
• Health, Health, Health :  This ofcourse includes lose weigh but also includes much more.. the BP, the reflux, the acidity, the stamina, the dammed knee, the neck and the overall fitness. This will be year with focus on health thru and thru

So what are your new year resolutions? And generally how have u been folks? Long time no?