Gratitude Journal Part 1

Tags

being thankful, gratitude, gratitude journal, just me, life, personal

Some days ago a friend tagged me on twitter/FB to do a 30 day gratitude journal. Just be thankful for something everyday. I think its bringing a lot of people in my life. 16 days down I thought it might be a good idea to collate of all those notes on the blog. Here are the first 15 days in Part 1

So Aparna Jain tagged/nudged me into doing a ‪#‎GratitudeJournal‬ For next 30 days I will be posting two things I was grateful about that day. I think it always helps to reflect back and pick on the small joys each day.

Day 1

1. Ojas who amazes me with the change of character and understanding he shows every time N is traveling. The fact that I am doing it all alone somehow makes him so much more calmer that it surprises me

2. Friends that move from being buddies to working partners so smoothly, yes I am looking at you Swati, we started working on the “Flavour Bombs 2014” today and I can’t tell you how excited how I am

Day 2 #GratitudeJournal1. the handsofindia exhibition currently running in Bangalore. Lovely handloom stuff, skirts, pallazo and tops. Smart fits (and in bigger sizes too) and good Indian fabrics and yes I bought a lovely orange pant from them. Go folks if you can
2. A lovely Friday evening spent. Great food and lots of conversation around food with the chef and a friend….Some Good wine, is there anything else one could ask for 

Day 3 #gratitudejournal1. I am grateful for technology which helps me to be connected with friends and family. Did a google hangout with my mad bunch of girl friends this morning, many counties and cities and yet it felt like we were together. Girls I am also grateful for you all. You help me maintain the balance in my own madness and sanity 
2. I am grateful for Saturday evenings, family, drink and some good music.

Day 4 #gratitudejournal
1. Friends who understand the joke sometimes before you have even said it
2. Good food and drinks

Day5 ‪#‎gratitdueJournal‬

Today I am grateful for my support system at home, my mother in law, the househelp and the ofcourse the man himself. While I am sitting here in Hyderabad for work the child went to school, was fed, did homework and is already in bed. I couldn’t have been sitting here enjoying my work if I didn’t have that support, if I didn’t know he was well taken care of, yet my mind was in Bangalore all of evening  The needs of a working mum and the guilt of motherhood.. Bittersweet just like most moments parenthood has brought along

Day 6 ‪#‎gratitudeJournal‬

Grateful for the plants in my garden which have survived even after being ignored for 4 years, I am yet to tend to the garden after I have come back to the house but every now and then a flower, a fruit pops up to make me smile. Some smiles I saw a couple of days ago

 

 

Day 7 ‪#‎gratitudeJournal‬

Grateful for books to read and the friends who reco them. Grateful for my kindle which helps me access books with ease and carry many at a time everywhere . On an aside, I realised at about 9pm that I was wearing two different Jhumkis in my ears all day. So grateful for my ability to laugh at myself

Day 8 ‪#‎gratitudeJournal‬
I am grateful for blogging, it has given me a lot including opening doors to my current career but more than anything it has given me so many friendships. Brought so many people in my life. Today caught up with one too. Also grateful for red lipstick, there is something about wearing red on lips which is liberating, happy and sexy at the same time

Day 9 ‪#‎gratitudeJournal‬

So I skipped posting yesterday, it was one of those days when I was feeling like nothing is right in my world, that everything is going wrong and there is nothing I want to be grateful about, and then this morning when I went for my morning walk and saw people sleeping on the road I realised that no whatever goes wrong in our lives, we still have a lot to be grateful about. So today I am grateful about what life has given me. Today I am grateful about life itself.

Day 10 ‪#‎gratitudeJournal‬

Today I am grateful for FB, Twitter, whatsapp and other social media places which have made sharing my thoughts, moments and more so easy. Because of which I feel connected to many new and old friends. Be it the cousin miles apart, friends in the different continents be it fb messaging, the wall or a whatsapp group … Thank you social media

Day 11 ‪#‎gratitudeJournal‬

Today I am grateful for cellphones and the ease of communication these days. Ojas has high fever since yesterday and I am thankful for the fact that I could be on the phone getting updates sitting so far away, that I could do a quick skype with him in the morning to calm myself. I can’t even imagine the time when we had one landline phone in all of the street while going up. Wonder how our parents used to cope up

Day 12 #‎gratitudeJournal‬

Today I am grateful for the colors that Indian festivals have, the joy and the food. Can’t wait to get back home to do my bit

In the picture, utbt’s super awesome golu. I am almost tempted to keep one next time

Day 13 ‪#‎gratitudeJournal‬

Grateful for food books and the friends who gift them  Preethi Vemu you left yours behind

Siri Pulipaka thank you darling

I realised I missed posting day 14 ‪#‎gratitudeJournal‬ and it was only because I was too busy absorbing in the love I was showered upon after the 10 day trip.. The child, the man and the dog.. Even the house help… So today I am grateful for the love in my life… It does keep me going

Day 15 ‪#‎gratitudeJournal‬

So the recovering child told me he wants to bake and I decided to keep the sulking aside He searched for what to bake in my books and then we sat and wrote recipe for some whole wheat almond and choco chip cupcakes… Totally yumm they are and then fluffy decided he is feeling totally left out and begged and emotionally blackmailed the brother into feeding him some muffins. Grateful for baking and having found what I love

 

 

 

55 word fiction : Just when he was leaving

Tags

55 word fiction, 55-er, 55-err, causes to champion, fiction, inspired fiction, kashmir, kashmir pandits, life, Marathon Bloggers, pandits

Bags packed, belongings taken, people hugged.

But he looked reluctant to let go,

He looked at the temple in the room,

He looked around for the childhood he had,

He looked around for old age me might have had,

And just when he was leaving he looked around at the Kashmir he might never see again.

———–

Done as a part of the 55 word fiction week at Marathon Bloggers

Death and beyond

Tags

death, general, kids, life, Ojas, parenting, philosphy

A couple of days ago I took Ojas for his first play “Suar Chala Space“. The play was about animals, spaceships aliens and swine flu 🙂 It was more or less a fun play with loads of dance and music. Cubby and Ojas who went along seem to enjoy the play somewhat, laughing inbetween sometimes because they got the joke and sometimes because everyone else was laughing 😀 Lots of learning about friendship, caring, standing upto your mistakes etc. I totally loved the play, the way it was done perfectly suited for kids I would say. All in all I think I was pretty happy with his first introduction to theatre.

What left me thinking however was one scene in the play, when a buffalo falls sick and dies. The whole act by all means was underplayed. There was no drama or lot of crying involved but I observed that suddenly Ojas’s mood has kind of changed. He has quietened and was looking really sad. I asked him what happened and could see one small teardrop in the corner of his eye and with a very feeble voice he asked me “Mumma why she died”. It made me still for a moment, my heart alternating between pacing and stopping that only a mother can understand… that did my not even 4 yr old understood death? Did he realise that its something wrong? Does he know that we have to be sad when someone dies? I recomposed myself a little and told she wasn’t well and hence she died, he thought and asked me again “Why didn’t she go to a doctor, if she wasn’t feeling well?”. I tried to answer, however the act changed and the music and dance started again catching his attention and he was back to his laughing self in a minute

It left me thinking though, is it time to start talking to him about Life and Death? Touchwood, we haven’t had a death in the close family but life is cruel and you don’t know what it presents you the next minute do you? This was a play, how do you explain stuff like this to kids? I remember my grandma telling me that people become stars and go to the sky when they die, Its such a beautiful idea isn’t it? I know its not true but since my granny died I still like to believe that she is up there as a star looking over me and I can still raise my head and look at her, may be a smile will be passed between us a twinkle

But yeah all these dreamy and emotional ideas apart, tell me god forbid did you go through a need to talk to your kids about death? How did you explain to them? Do you recommend any books that can be read to them? What is the best age one can start talking to them about life and death?

Fact or Fiction

Tags

chennai, life, personal, strange

Ram finished his rushed morning routine and started his dear car to rush to his office about 5 kms away from home. As soon as he started the car he cursed himself for not fueling it up yesterday evening, now he would have to waste another 5 minutes of precious morning time. Reluctantly he turned his beloved car towards the petrol bunk not aware of the fact that this 5 minutes will change the course of his entire day.

Glancing at his watch again as he had only 10 minutes left for the conference call he drove out of the bunk. Just when he was outside he saw a lady a little older than him looking worried and asking for a lift, though he normally doesn’t give anyone a lift something in the look of the lady made him stop. She told him she needs to get somewhere urgently and has been waiting for an auto for the past 30 minutes but none is ready to go… knowing Chennai and its autowallahs he decided to drop her as it was just on the way to his office.

After about an hour, when his wife Shanti was cleaning the dinning table she realised that Ram has left his dabba home and called him up telling him the same. But to her surprise she found his cell phone coming as switched off which was very strange as she remembered him charging the phone yesterday night as they had argued on who will use the point for charging. Thinking he might be in a meeting or something she called his office and let him a voicemail. When he didn’t call back for the next two hours, she called him again… the cell phone was still switched off and the extension still going to voicemail. She decided to call the reception and leave a message for him and then what the receptionist told her shocked her… Ram had never come to office today.

This was so unlike her husband to go suddenly missing but she decided to wait for some more time trying his cellphone every 5 minutes. When there was no way she could contact with till 4 in the evening, she started to get nightmares and get really worried. All kinds of thoughts from an accident to some major health problem started coming to her mind how much ever she tried to keep them away.

She decided to call Ram’s cousin Surya and tell him everything. Surya reached their house and after hearing to everything got very worried himself, after waiting for another hour they decided to go to the police and check on all accidents that have happened in the city near his route. Fortunately there were none but inspite of this being a good news, it frightened them a little more… Where was Ram?

Shanti and Surya took the streets of Chennai and started searching for him. After 2 hours of throughly searching the route he usually takes from home to work, they decided to wait it out as there was hardly anything else they could do and just when Surya was getting really depressed and shanti was just sitting in the corner tears flowing down her eyes, at around 8pm they received a call from Ram saying don’t worry I am on the way home and will be there in another hour or so. He told them he will come and tell them and don’t ask any questions on phone. Surprised but relieved they waited for Ram to reach back.

And when he reached back, they both were shocked… he looked very tired and confused and when asked what happened, he told them what happened in the morning, that he had given the lady a lift for 3 kms and that he doesn’t remember anything after that. He only knows that after giving her lift they didnt talk at all apart from her saying thanks and the next thing he remembers is waking up in his car on Chennai-Bangalore highway near Yelagari and everything he had was with him… his watch, laptop, cell phone, cell phones, cash and cards… confused he just started driving bad and after getting a hold of himself he realised Shanti would be very tensed and called her.

Surya and Ram went to the police station and registered a complaint on what had happened. The police guys looked equally amused as they had not heard of anything like this before, its been an year now and Ram still doesn’t remember what happened on that day. Inspite of trying multiple times he is blank on that day… neither have police come with anything that might have been done with his car on that day…Needless to say he has resolved never to try and help anyone else

PS: The above is NOT FICTION…its a true story that happened to one of N’s cousin in chennai, names have ofcourse been changed but everything else in the story is truth….Ritu’s post return made me write this… strange things happen on the road and I think its important for all of us to be try and be very careful. The incident has left a deep mark on the cousin as well as us… how suddenly something can happen in life which we have no control on and worst we dont even know what happened actually

House Guests and some more blabber

Tags

Delhi, guests, life, mil, mom, personal

One thing that this seems to have come along with this house for us are the house guests, days after we moved in here and the house was still not looking like a house my mom and sis came from Delhi and helped me make it look like a home… The next 10 days were spent sharing the load of opening boxes, making food and taking care of Ojas like a dream come true… isn’t there something about your mom just being around that makes one feel fantastic 😉 and now that she is gone back… I miss her like crazy… and my sis too and not just me, the little brat has also been missing them and gets up almost every morning saying that I want Appu massi and nani to come to my house…. awww baby I want that too…

This is the worst thing in staying away from ones family… these are times when I want to curse the job and my career which bought me to such far away land… I hate that Ojas is growing up so far from her loving nani and massis but sigh such is the way of life and things can hardly be changed

And then after my mom and sis, went away we had N’s cousin from the US coming and living with us for a day, who fell in love with Ojas and vice versa… both were inseparable till the time he was here and the dotting uncle did all the tasks for him from playing to feeding him food, to change his clothes and even clean the dirty bum 😉 it was such a pleasure to see them bond, right now he has gone to his village with a promise that he will be back next week

And then there is another friend of mine K who I havent met in years coming over for a week with his wife (whom I havent met at all) and a 5-month old daughter on Wednesday morning. Its so long that I have met him and this is one visit I am really really looking forward to, needless to say the next week will be a little busy 🙂

Apart from house guests too there has been a lot happening in life, I have taken up a consulting working from home assigment with a US firm which invloves about 3 hour of work everyday, its a small start but I am slowly making a move from becoming a stay at home mom (which I have been for the last year) to a full time independent woman (as my profile still says  😉 ) again and yes guys my catering and business plans are still on… have delivered some 3 orders and waiting for some more… so spread the word around u….

With all this happening in my life the last thing I needed was an argument with mil which I ended up having this afternoon. There are sometimes when I really feel that all this talk that dil’s are like daughters and mils as mothers is all bullshit. Howmuch ever one tries, how much ever one does (and here I am not talking about only me, I am talking about both sides… so people don’t throw brickbats ok) one still remains an outsider and the things you are still taken with a pinch of salt, even if they are well intended.

I know what happened was not something which will probably stay with us forever, I am in a half a mind to go say sorry or else things will turn normal in a day or two but right now I just feel depressed, angry, agitated and sad all rolled into one.

A Mish Mash Birthday

Tags

birthday, happiness, life, RIP, sadness, tejaswee Rao

So It was my birthday yesterday…. and the whole day the thing that was running on my mind was how is that you wish yourself a Happy Birthday when all that is running in your mind is a the fact that a  lovely girl so full of promise and a life and girl who wanted to live long and enjoy life 😦  was taken away by God… May her soul rest in peace and May God give IHM and family the strength required to go through this, though right now I am in no mood to trust God. If there was someone like him would this have happened? Life is so f^&king unfair sometimes.

But as the super strong IHM says life has to go on, I also went through my day with the usual celebrations with N and my mom and sis pushing me a little for it. I made a cake for myself (which I forgot to click picture of)… mixed fruit flavour and it came out super… Even I was surprised with the softness of the cake 😉 certainly one of the best I have made. It was polished off when some friends came for lunch today.

And the only part of the day which I was actually looking forward to was “Peepli Live”. N and my sis had booked tickets for the movie for me and N saying she will take care of Ojas while we enjoy the movie and damn just before we were ready to go he started crying and did a huge vomit and with that were drowned my hopes of watching the movie too 😦 He is fine now… slept exactly 20 mins after we were supposed to go and kept on sleeping for the next 3 hrs… life isn’t fair I think is the key take away from this birthday

Night was the family dinner that got planned with my mom, sis, my sister in laws family and also a N’s cousin who was here was US. It was a nice dinner where we all chatted away for glory ( BTW on that note “Taste of Rampur” which is listed as of the best North Indian in Times Food guide of last year sucks… might do a detailed review later but as of now my word is dont waste ur money there).

So all in all it was a decent birthday but somehow it just wasnt the same. It was as if there is a air of sadness all around me. Even if I was laughing it was a laughter from the heart, Tejaswee you will live in our hearts forever. And the next year of my life will be dedicated to u 🙂 Of staying strong and positive just as you were. Isnt it strange that the person who you havent even met once leaves such a lasting impression on you and your life sometimes.

Ok lets end the post in a happy and postive note just how she would have liked… by dedicating a song to myself…. Pari Hoon Main 😉

Its gotta be done… Post 13

Tags

16 yr old, fun, fundas, life, memories, NaBloPoMo, tag

so its gotta be done 😉 Sunday afternoons are certainly not a good time to write posts but when one has committed themselves to NaBloPoMo and forgotten to schedule a post for Sunday there hardly seems any other option…

The house right now is quite, very quite…. All are sleeping after a delicious brunch of beer and home made chole bhatures… (I must tell u guys I resisted both.. had chole and roti instead of bhatura and had a vodka with tender coconut water instead of beer… so calories saved at both friends)…. And I am flying in air because the friends I had and N told me that these are probably one of the best chola bhaturas they ever had in Bangalore 😉 thats something isn’t 😀

So all of them are sleeping and I am sitting here thinking what in the post… but then isn’t this a post in itself 😉 lol i am blaberring under the effect of vodka I guess 😉

So let me reply to the prompt that I liked at NaBloPoMo site…

If you could go back in time and meet your 16-year-old self, what three things would you tell yourself?

• Parents are not always wrong… I mean seriously at 16 I think I was a rebel, I would like to think all 16 yr old are and at that particular time whatever parents say without even giving it a second thought is labelled as wrong  but now when I am 33 I look back and realise that probably they were right sometimes 😉 ok ok I know I am still not admitting always
• Respect and take care of your body…. keep in shape, dont abuse it too much… A little care at that age will go a long long long way, the physical body is something that will be with till you die and you would not want your dreams to fall apart because your physical condition doesn’t allow it
• Don’t be afraid to love… ofcourse you might get hurt but later in life I am sure it will one of the fondest memories you will have

So go on tell me what are the three things you will say to your 16 yr old… leave a comment do a post…

Ok I have a brainwave… since all of us are struggling with posts let me tag you guys… all u guys doing NaBloPoMo are tagged… do take this up and anyone else who wants to is most welcome too 😀

Sweet Nothings (day 3, post 3)

Tags

life, NaBloPoMo

Its strange how doing small things one used to do when we were kids gives so much happiness to one…

Owing to the fact that me, sis and mom are all at home these days we bought a Ludo yesterday and we totally hooked since yesterday, playing like small kids… fighting over turns, screaming when we cut each other’s goti… and poor Ojas is looking at as in complete surprise seeing three sensible adults turn into crazy people

The game of ludo made me think about the little sweet nothings in life…

A few I can think of:

• getting wet in the rain…
• sharing a ice cream with loved ones
• meeting a very old friend
• eating mango without cutting it if u know what I mean 🙂
• fighting over the last bite of chocolate

So what are your sweet nothings?

Aam Aadmi Ki Kimat

Tags

india, life

It was Nanda Devi on 4th August and now barely months after that its Jodhpur Temple…

146 people dead in the first incident, about 180 in the recent one… How many families does this account to? How many women widowed, how many children orphaned… Some even to the extent that the whole families are dead apart from a small kid… what will they do now…

Questions like this haunt me and then I wonder what are we doing about it? Rather what are the concerned people, the authorities doing about it? Announce some money for the dead which in some case will not even reach the concerened relative, in some cases of the whole family dead some distant relative who hasn’t seem them for years will crop up to the take the money and then is money the solution for life?

All this keeps happening… People like u and me blog about it and the forget it, press reports it for a few days and forget it, politicians and the authorities I guess they are the worst… just take a round and forget abt it…

Why cant something be done about it? yahi hai kya aam aadmi ki kimat?

Standstill

Tags

bangalore, life, music, review, traffic

One downpour and the result… clogged drains… flooded roads… current less houses and roads full of traffic jams… one heavy set of rains and blore comes to a standstill… what kind of a IT centre of India this is?

I wrote this soometime back and got into some work and now when I read it again I realized how cynical have I become about life… Blore has been more or less like this since past sometime but I never used to crib so much… I need to do something about it… these days I am cribbing about anything and everything

On the lighter node, I am totally hooked out on to Rabbi Shergill’s new album Avengi Ja Nahin… I first heard it online at Mampi (though she seems to have removed it from there and I am very disappointed) and totally loved it… the guy is amazing with the guitar… one of the few indian players who really do it well… though for the people who dont understand Punjabi it can become a little repetitive but still I strongly recommend if u liked his first album “Rabbi” the one famous for Bulla Ki Jaana Main Kuan