G is for Guns

Tags

AtoZChallenge, guns, kids, parenting, toys

Guns is what we are talking about today, when most of buddies seem to be taking about Gratitude (I’ll admit I haven’t read any of your posts, this is just a feeling I got doing a quick glance on the FB group) I am talking about Guns…

This evening I just have a question for you in the form of a post? Whats your stand when it comes to kids and gun toys? Do u think its ok for kids to think its just toys and play or not?

Will write in more detail after I hear from you… so go on share ur thoughts

 

Death and beyond

Tags

death, general, kids, life, Ojas, parenting, philosphy

A couple of days ago I took Ojas for his first play “Suar Chala Space“. The play was about animals, spaceships aliens and swine flu🙂 It was more or less a fun play with loads of dance and music. Cubby and Ojas who went along seem to enjoy the play somewhat, laughing inbetween sometimes because they got the joke and sometimes because everyone else was laughing😀 Lots of learning about friendship, caring, standing upto your mistakes etc. I totally loved the play, the way it was done perfectly suited for kids I would say. All in all I think I was pretty happy with his first introduction to theatre.

What left me thinking however was one scene in the play, when a buffalo falls sick and dies. The whole act by all means was underplayed. There was no drama or lot of crying involved but I observed that suddenly Ojas’s mood has kind of changed. He has quietened and was looking really sad. I asked him what happened and could see one small teardrop in the corner of his eye and with a very feeble voice he asked me “Mumma why she died”. It made me still for a moment, my heart alternating between pacing and stopping that only a mother can understand… that did my not even 4 yr old understood death? Did he realise that its something wrong? Does he know that we have to be sad when someone dies? I recomposed myself a little and told she wasn’t well and hence she died, he thought and asked me again “Why didn’t she go to a doctor, if she wasn’t feeling well?”. I tried to answer, however the act changed and the music and dance started again catching his attention and he was back to his laughing self in a minute

It left me thinking though, is it time to start talking to him about Life and Death? Touchwood, we haven’t had a death in the close family but life is cruel and you don’t know what it presents you the next minute do you? This was a play, how do you explain stuff like this to kids? I remember my grandma telling me that people become stars and go to the sky when they die, Its such a beautiful idea isn’t it? I know its not true but since my granny died I still like to believe that she is up there as a star looking over me and I can still raise my head and look at her, may be a smile will be passed between us a twinkle

But yeah all these dreamy and emotional ideas apart, tell me god forbid did you go through a need to talk to your kids about death? How did you explain to them? Do you recommend any books that can be read to them? What is the best age one can start talking to them about life and death?

And threw him down the stairs

Tags

kids, parenting, rhymes

Dont know that rhyme, here is it for u

Goosey Goosey Gander

Where shall I wander

Upstairs and downstairs

and in my lady’s chamber

Where I met an old man

Who would not say his prayers

I took him by the left leg

and threw him down the stairs

And those who still don’t know it its a nursery rhyme, supposed to be for KIDS… what the fuck hell? I mean whatever anyone does you can’t take an old man, infact you cant take any man and throw him down the stairs…. And what was the old man doing in the lady’s chambers is left to your imagination….

What kind of rhyme is this? We all agree that TV has all kinds of things and spoils kids etc etc but these are the rhymes which are made for kids… Do we scan them? Frankly I did not till about some months back someone gifted me a nursery rhymes CD and I heard this one. I was shocked is to underplay it. Then I sat on a mission with my laptop and his CD’s and what I saw even shocked me… I am not sure I would want him to hear quite a lot of the rhymes that I saw…

See this for example…

Teaching eve teasing right from childhood are we?

and there is I had a little Pony which goes like

I had a little ponyhis name was Dapple Gray

I lent him to a lady to ride a mile away

She whipped him, she slashed him

she rode him through the mire

I would not lend my pony now

For all the lady’s hire

anyone heard of gender equality here?

and then there is three blind mice, so much cruelty for three blind animals??????

and this one, I thought we are supposed to respect our elders

Hindi Rhymes are not behind BTW… this one for example

and there are many more like this……..I thought we were supposed to take care of our pets and not beat them with a danda

Ofcourse I am not saying that all rhyme are bad they are the joy of childhood…  but what fails me is the reason why people even try and make rhymes which are supposed to be for kids with such horrible messages. What our children supposed to learn from them?

Do u let your child watch all the rhymes because they are rhymes or u censor them? So how do u deal with this considering one gets rhymes in CD’s usually and how much ever I have tried I haven’t found even one CD in which I approve of all the rhymes..

So whats ur native language?

Tags

books, english, hindi, kannada, kids, language, marriage, multicultural, parenting, reading, tamil, telegu, tullika publishers

How are u?

Kaise hain aap?

Tussi kidda?

Etla undao?

Apdi Erke?

Neenu Hehiddhiya?

Ideally I would want to be able to speak all of the above comfortably and so would I want Ojas to but unfortunately its not to be… and BTW if u are still wondering whats that its How are u in English, Hindi, Punjabi, Telegu, Tamil and Kannada and I so hope I have got it right

Ever since Ojas has been born I have been thinking how to make him pick up his native languages… And then utbt did this series of posts on languages which made so much sense to me and at the same time came Tullika’s blogathon about the same. So I am going to take this up for clarity of my mind and  sharing some thoughts.

How different are the written and spoken forms of your first language?

Well my confusion starts at the very fact that what is my first language.. so to speak I am a punjabi a proud one at that🙂 but my pride just melts away when someone asks me if I know punjabi… I was born and brought up in Delhi the number of visits to Punjab being easily countable on fingers. So does this make Hindi  – the most common language in Delhi my first language? or Punjabi still remains my first language? or is the language that the child picks up first really called the first language? What do you guys think about this?

Anyways coming back to the question that Tullika raised. I really can’t answer it for Punjabi as I can just about understand it and barely manage to speak, reading and writing is a far of thing.. if any of u can throw light on it. I will be delighted. Roop? Mampi?

Coming to Hindi, spoken Hindi and written hindi are almost the same. Just as spoken and written English is almost the same. There are differences but minor and subtle. So if u know the script of the language and can speak decently well I guess u will manage to write it as well.

As far as it comes to Hindi I can fairly say I am confident in the language (but I still prefer if u don’t me my marks in Hindi in school I choose not to disclose that😉 )… I can speak, read and write… though its been ages I have written anything in Hindi. I am going to pick up a notebook and write something anything post I finish this post

If you want children to become familiar with their first language, which form would you look for in children’s books – formal or informal? Why?

Aah here comes the biggest confusion of life… I am confused on what my first language is – Punjabi or Hindi? And the hubby his dad was from Tamil whereas the mom from Telegu (he know to speak and understand both but can’t read or write anyone of that) so as a result we are going to pass on four native languages to Ojas… Hindi, Punjabi, Tamil and Telugu and by the sheer fact that he is actually born in Karnataka I would say that Kannada becomes his native too but even if we leave that aside… its a huge challenge for us to decide what to teach him and what not.

I ideally want him to pick all 5 languages but when I was discussing this with my sil the other day she mentioned that why burden the child so much? Are all these languages actually needed? And she does have a point. Picking up a language is not easy (atleast for me, I know there are some people who have such a good knack of it) but even if its not very difficult, I am sure learning five languages is surely confusing for a small child.

On the other I strongly believe that if we don’t pass our languages to our children they will slowly die to think of which is truly heartbreaking. The number of kids who understand their native languages is already on the decline. (Did I tell you that I curse my mom so much for the fact that she didn’t teach us Punjabi) And when I think of I realize the precisely what we face. Multicultural marriages.

Quite a lot of the couples around us have multicultural marriages and most of the kids from those speak primarily English but yes I have seen the kids of the same cultural marriages pick up their native language so beautifully.

At home, because everyone understands English and Hindi the conversation is by default in Hinglish. And that is what Ojas is picking up, that is what he speaks.

Coming back to the question that Tullika raised. If I want him to understand and learn the native language would I prefer a formal or an informal method?

Here my personal choice would be informal. I understand that what we can learn this way may not be grammatically correct but frankly does it really matter? If they do get interested in language slowly they can always pick up the grammar. Plus I strongly believe that kids learn the best in a informal way. So I would love Ojas to pick up the rest of the languages in just the way he is picking up English and Hindi. By talking and us reading books to him.

Currently we have both Hindi and English books for him and some bilingual ones by Tullika. I even had a Kannada bilingual which my maid used to read to him.

However there is a problem here.. that can’t be done for all the languages as its only Hindi and English we can read as a couple. So may be for the rest of them we’ll do a formal way for him and we too learn along😉

Do share your thoughts on this? What does ur child speak more so if u have a multicultural marriage?

My Name is Madhavi

Tags

karadi rhymes, kids, Ojas, review, rhymes

and I from allepy, I speak Mallayali but I am just like u…

My name is jaswinder and I am from Chandigarh, I speak Punjabi but I am just like u…

This is how it begins and continues to introduce all Indian states and their languages… think I am out of my mind no no I am talking about Karadi Rhymes that I have Ojas has fallen in love with…

Ojas has been reading some Karadi Tales from quite sometime now and the other day when showing Ojas the standard Old MacDonald on YouTube I stumbled on this rhyme

and Ojas started merrily dancing to it, monkeys being his current favorite animals to be honest even I felt like dancing on the brilliant catchy tune…I explored a little more and found the rhymes to be awesome

The best thing I like about these rhymes is their Indian-ness… I mean its great to hear Old Macdonald but I want Ojas to grow up on something more Indian… Tulika books was the starting of and Karadi has taken it a step forward… and me likes it specially now when the granny are not always around to carry the tales forward I think its so much more important for these things to be there

To qoute them directly

At Karadi, we believe in Indian rhymes for Indian kids. We create rhymes that every Indian kid can relate to – our rhymes are about mangoes, not daffodils; bhelpuris, not apple pies; kites, not surfboards. Most importantly, these rhymes are not just for children – they’re for adults as well.
These rhymes are set to simple Indian ragas and make for easy and fun learning. Sung magnificently by Usha Uthup, these rhymes are for you to sing along with and dance to.

And I can vouch for the fact that they are for adults as well… whenever its playing me and N keep stealing glances on the TV🙂

Their are rhymes about Kites, colors, mangoes, rivers, monkeys, tea, sambhar, train, cricket… everything that a child enjoys and at the same time there are rhymes about Indian culture, festivals, religion…. And the run time of one CD is about 25 mins so even if Ojas watches them twice a day it doesnt get me too worried🙂

One of my favorite is this one

listen to the rhyme the simplest fact of life… we all celebrate alike…

Eid is here on the cresent moon night

Friends we greet, Relatives we meet

Sweets we share ,New clothes we wear

Diwali is here with lamps and lights so bright

Friends we greet, Relatives we meet

Sweets we share, New clothes we wear

Xmas is here on bright december night

Friends we greet, Relatives we meet

Sweets we share, New clothes we wear

All religions one way of celebrating…simple yet profound a feeling that I would surely like to imbibe in Ojas…

My only complain I wasnt able to find the CD’s in any store😦 and then I ordered them online and bingo it was delivered in 3 days…

Surely a set of rhymes that I would recommend

The most important years really

Tags

kids, montessori, NaBloPoMo, parenting, robert fulghum

I went to an observation session at the Montessori that I have applied for Ojas today and I was really impressed by the whole place, the process they follow, the happiness floating around, the teachers etc etc… guys pray for that Ojas gets through it… but one thing that really stayed with me till now is something that I read on the notice board today… how very simple and how very true…. read on to believe

ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW I LEARNED IN KINDERGARTEN

All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand pile at school. These are the things I learned:

Share everything

Play fair.

Don’t hit people.

Put things back where you found them.

Clean up your own mess.

Don’t take things that aren’t yours.

Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody.

Wash your hands before you eat.

Flush.

Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.

Live a balanced life – learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.

Take a nap every afternoon.

When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together.

Be aware of wonder.

Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.

Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup – they all die.

So do we.

And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned – the biggest word of all – LOOK.

Everything you need to know is in there somewhere.

The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and equality and sane living.

Take any one of those items and extrapolate it into sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your family life or your work or government or your world and it holds true and clear and firm. Think what a better world it would be if we all – the whole world – had cookies and milk at about 3 o’clock in the afternoon and then lay down with our blankies for a nap. Or if all governments had as a basic policy to always put things back where they found them and to clean up their own mess.

And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out in the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.

[Source: “ALL I REALLY NEED TO KNOW I LEARNED IN KINDERGARTEN” by Robert Fulghum.]