Day 4 : Letter to Siblings

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30 day letter challenge, just me, letter, personal, relationships

Dear P Didi,

I could have written this letter to A or I but from the first time when I read that I had to write a letter to sibling I knew I had to write this to you. My first ever sibling.

I know the world thinks that you were a cousin but you came in my life when I didn’t knew what a sister is. You came in my life when I was little and you became the elder sister I never had. You became to me what I can only dream to become for my younger sisters. A hope, a strength.

I know life wasn’t as fair to you, I know you didn’t get what you deserved. But you know what is amazing that in spite of it all you brought happiness to so many people. You touched so many life is with your kindness and your positive attitude that no one from the outset could tell that you are struggling with a terminal illness, that every doctor you see is more or less surprised on how you are walking. Your smile was always so wide that no one could tell that you are dealing with so many personal issues in the house.

I draw my strength from you, I draw my will to be happy in spite of it all from you, I draw my inspiration of life from you. Everytime I feel low in my life, I think of how you managed it all without cribbing, of course you cried to let those feelings out but you were smiling much more than you were crying and that is how I still remember. Rushing home to meet me the day I reach Delhi irrespective of how you are feeling and giving me the warmest of hugs.

We lost you two years ago to that dreaded illness that you fought for many many years. But didi you are still in our hearts, in thoughts smiling as ever. Hardly a week passes by when I don’t think of you. Every little happy news that I get, specially the wedding of your darling little sis A that you were so looking forward to, every little achievement I have I want to share with you and I do in my heart.

We love you, We miss you didi and I speak not just for myself but for all of us.

Stay peaceful wherever you are because more than anyone you deserved the peace

Yours little

Mona

No, I don’t need a sea for swimming

I think I have said it before but sometimes one thing needs to be said over and over again

I DO NOT APPRECIATE JOKES ON WEIGHT, or skin color or height. Basically I don’t understand jokes made on anyone’s physical appearance.

I often wonder what is that makes us laugh on people who are fat or are not fair or very thin or very short. Is it how they choose to be? Do we even realise what this could do to their self respect or image? And I am not saying this just because I am fat and I have been a target of such jokes almost all my life. 37 years of my living and I don’t care a shit about them. I have learnt to ignore them, turn a deaf ear to those who are cracking these jokes.

But something happened over the last two weeks that has made me think again, in one of the workshops I was taking a child told another child that you won’t be able to do this “since you are fat” and walked away smiling actually almost laughing and in a minute I saw that smile vanish, the twinkle in the eyes of the little boy vanished away for a second before he probably decided in his mind that no he will not cry and I saw a forced smile returned back on his face but I could see through that fake smile very easily. I have been there myself, way too often during childhood. I just went and hugged that boy and gave him a task to do and kept wondering if I should have a small little conversation with that girl who had called him fat but I never did and then we got busy with the rest of the workshop

And then today a group I am part which has friends I am close too, cracked a joke about my weight. I know they don’t mean bad, that we are all mostly (actually almost) just cracking jokes and having fun by insulting each other, that’s the way the group is but suddenly that joke again reminded me of that little boy and the sadness in his eyes for a spilt second before he put on that fake smile for the world again and it reminded me of the fact that why I don’t find these jokes funny. I also feel that till we adults stop cracking these jokes, the message that goes to kids is that these jokes are ok.

Reminded me that more often than not while we laugh for a minute on the joke, we don’t even think that unnecessary comment may be scarring a little child or even a big person for life.

So folks can I just request you next time you want to make a joke on someone’s weight or height or color do think about how that person feels for a second. It probably do you some good too

He grit his teeth and bore the pain…

Tags

55-er, cause to champion, fiction, gender issues, Marathon Bloggers, prompt, theme blogging

As he immersed the little white bundle in water, As he immersed someone who could have been his daughter, as he immersed someone who could have been his joy. He grit his teeth and bore the pain because if didn’t then the sarpanch will pull trigger of the gun on his head…

 So he grit his teeth and bore the pain…        

This is written as a part of Marathon Blogger theme based blogging. My attempt to yet another 55-er, I am slowly realising the only fiction I can may be do 🙂

 

Finding “Ability” in Disability : Diya Foundation

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blogging, contest

I first heard about Diya Foundation about an year ago from a friend who works very closely with them. With their motto being “FROM DISABILITY TO DIFFERENT ABILITIES” ,Diya Foundation is a Vocational Training Center in Bangalore providing training and employment to intellectually challenged individuals. Founded in 1999, DIYA is a registered charitable trust. After being told about it and thinking I must do something, I promptly forgot about it until I met Sarah, the force behind Diya in the GS-ISB 10K women program.

Sara, started her career at the age of 18 as stenographer after completing BA(Eng) but somewhere she wanted to do more and after seven years of work she felt the need to do something more worthwhile with my life, after strong resistance from her family she joined Convent of Jesus and Mary, Special School as a volunteer. She says “The initial reaction of nervousness and fear when I first met these special children of whether I would be able to work and understand them dissolved into love and a strong determination to do something  when I saw how loving, trusting and affectionate they were. What really called to me was the challenge in making the difference in their lives, in not giving up and in the firm belief that each and everyone of them is trainable”.  After a year of volunteering she was sure this was her calling and did  B.Ed. in Special Education from SNDT Women’s University, Bombay and continued with Jesus & Mary. Over time she realized that once a special child reaches between the age of 14 to 18, schools ask them to leave. She says “As special educators in schools we focus on teaching them functional academics and not on work skills which would help them get jobs so once they leave the school program there is nothing available and nowhere to go. This where the dream of Diya Foundation began. At Diya the focus is on training in work skills and employment”

 She adds “ Diya was started in March 1999 on a initial contribution of Rs.1000/- each from the 3 board members. The challenge was in getting materials for pre-voc training and the trainees were initially charged a fee of Rs.150 per month. “

 

She says the journey of Diya has been amazing, From 3 trainees to 60 trainees; from the initial  Rs.3000/- to Rs. 35,00,000/- is where Diya has reached in 14 years. From searching for trainees to having a waiting list. Diya today has made a difference in many families, bringing their lives back to them in some ways.  At diya, Each trainee’s program is planned according to his/her strengths and daily goals and targets are set accordingly, they flourish and learn to draw from their strengths and weakness in their own ways

When asked about some of her favorite memories she says “Memories that will always remain are the ‘eureka’ moments in my trainees’ lives : that first eye contact, the first conversation initiated, the first time a work task was initiated or when they learned to tie the cords on a bag and hammer in the rivets. It reinforces all my beliefs that you do not have to go out into the world and do great things and make great changes. It all begins with every small mile-stone that my students achieve in their lives “

While recalling the challenges she faced she says “The initial challenges were in getting in trainees, trainers, funding to run. Then as Diya began to grow the challenge was in finding a permanent  place. Once Diya began training students on vocational skills and started making recycled paper products, candles, we stopped charging them a fee and then the challenge was in marketing products and paying them a stipend to give them a sense of working and earning. Today the biggest challenge is still in finding a permanent place. Diya has moved for the seventh time in 14 years. Another challenge is finding job opportunities for our trained special adults. Corporates are wary of hiring the mentally challenged as they are afraid that they will not be able to fire them if they do not perform”

Sarah has many dreams for Diya, she wants to Diya to have their own employment options wherein the trainees will be placed after training. She wants Diya to be in a place where they would never to have to say ‘no’ to a specially abled individual looking for training and work opportunities. She says “Today we have started two such work options: one is Diya Innovations Pvt Ltd – a gifting company – the marketing and employment arm of Diya Foundation and the sustainability model of Diya Foundation. The second work option is EKTA – our Self-help Group started with parents of our special adults and underprivileged women”

Sara for me is true woman of independence and however cliché it might sound, the women of substance who wants to bring independence in not just her life but in everyone around hers too and if you would want to make Sara’s dream true you can donate here, I have pledged that if I win I will add that to Diya’s kitty and this season that is where I will volunteer too. Come join in making the world a better place, making Sara’s dream come true

For more information on Diya and  their products, check out their websiste http://www.diyafoundation-india.org/ and view this brilliant and touching video here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKq0sKanqWo

This post Written for the Indiblogeshwaris Ladies Independence Special Contest in association with http://womenentrepreneursinindia.com/

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We are gearing up for third round of CSA Awareness month, join us in spreading the word, join us in raising awareness

CSA Awareness Month

Dear Friends,
April 2013 is a month away, and we are gearing up for the 3rd year of CSAAM. As you are all aware, through the month of April we talk about the menace of CSA across social media, via Facebook, twitter and blogs. We count on your support and participation as always.
Partnering us in our efforts this year will be organisations working in this field like Arpan, Tulir, Human Rights Watch as well as online initiatives like Blogadda and Womens Web.
You will see personal testimonials, expert advice, twitter chats, information sources, resources, workshops, an iPhone app and lots and lots of blog posts across the blogosphere.
We need to get people talking about this elephant in the room. If you would like to post on your blogs, do send us a tentative date, so we can schedule your post in. If you would like to participate in…

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I usually don’t reblog stuff but this has to be read by everyone. Brilliant

Draupadi’s reaction, after Krishna rescues her from Dushashana’s assault … is not meek gratitude. She berates the men for their complicity and their refusal to defend her; instead of the shame visited on women who have been sexually assaulted, she expresses a fierce, searing anger.
Panchali, with her five husbands, her proud sense of ownership over her own body and her quest for vengeance, represents everything about women that terrifies a certain kind of Indian, who prefer to be more selective about the myths they wish to follow.
— Nilanjana Roy in the Business Standard

nilanjana s roy

(Published in the Business Standard, 8th January 2013) 

In times of trouble, turning to the great epics is always useful: their ancient bloodstained lines are reminders that we do not have a premium on violence, rape and corpses.

Over the centuries, the Ramayana and the Mahabharata have become India’s default epics, eclipsing the Rajatarangini, the Cilapatikkaram and other equally powerful legends in the mainstream imagination. While this is a loss, both epics offer an insight into the way rape works in India.

Five stories of rape and sexual assault from the epics are particularly useful. The Ramayana has the abduction of Sita by Ravana, and running parallel to it, the disfiguring of Surpanakha by Rama and Lakshmana—two atrocities, not one, that trigger a war. The Mahabharata has the public assault on Draupadi at its heart, the abduction and revenge of Amba, and and the sanctioned rapes of Ambika and…

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The Auto Saga

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autos, bangalore, rants and more

In a ten on Tuesday form on a Wednesday 🙂 abhi thoda belated tou chalta hai na

1. Bangalore auto drivers are amazing and impartial people they don’t like to hurt anyone so they continuously refuse to go everywhere. After all if they go to place A and not place B, it won’t be fair right? And no I am kidding, ask anyone. I have once asked an auto driver “where will you go, I will go to that place” in as many words because he said no to atleast 10 people in front of me
2. They also don’t want you to waste too much of your time and hence any distance above 15kms is really not done, but wait lets be fair to them and not go too near too, so there is a minimum distance limit of 5kms. So kindly chose your travels to be anywhere between 5-15km. Anything not falling in this bracket is strictly a passenger’s fault and an oversight in planning the city
3. Meter, whats that? Its just an evil device forced on them you see and its mandatory to add atleast Rs 25-50 to the amount which comes on it (if at all its used that is) else they will be in such a loss, poor auto drivers
4. Another thing you must remember about these guys is they don’t believe in keeping change with them, it’s an insult you see so if your bill is not a round figure (note Rs 50 or Rs 100) its your responsibility to give him change and please if you don’t have change, don’t insult the poor man by asking it back so what that it sometimes might even be Rs34 (I have myself been forced to leave this amount once) forget about single digit numbers
5. They also love bangalore as it used to be u know, the small city comprising or malleshwaram and MG road and frazer town and around. So all new places are really out of the city and hence demand a double meter and this includes areas like outer indira nagar and if u live in Martahahalli or hosur road, god help you. All I can say is “Good Luck”
6. Somehow in Bangalore I see another huge problem, the poor auto wallas never ever find a savari back you see, whether its a drop in the middle of kormangala or whitefield or even sometime MG road, I think we people of Bangalore must have a sensor which detects that this auto just dropped someone here and hence we shouldn’t take him
7. There are so many phone applications that these days provide you with shortest distance and some even with the fastest route to a destination, but have you ever seen an application which provides you with the longest possible route,Bangalore has many such walkie talkie applications yes our dear auto driver who else. He knows the longest route from every A to B possible in the city
8. What its 8 o clock? and what u still are on the roads? its your fault obviously and the poor auto walla has to pay for it now to drop you to your house I say. U better give him atleast the double of what is the meter, even if the rule actually is 1.5 times after 10:00 pm. Auto drivers of Bangalore believe in following nature and not the man made clocks and the natural cycle says 8pm is dark and is night
9. All auto drivers in Bangalore are slowly getting impressed by their Chennai counterparts and turn promptly to Kannada if there is any confusion while  interacting. So inspite of living in this city without Kannada for 10 yrs now I feel the need for it. May be they are acting as government agents and helping the govt implement the learn Kannada rule
10. And last but not the least inspite of everything if you have gone lucky and got an auto, I have only one thing to say “good luck” for two reasons – one you should reach where you have to safely as they really are the most rash drivers on the road and two I pray for your mental peace because they really are an expert in every single thing in Bangalore
11. And this bonus point for people who are on the other side of auto drivers (including me most of the times). They are also the best friends of car drivers and even better than police in keeping accidents at bay, what confused? Ask any car driver in Bangalore and they will tell you how extra alert they become when they see an auto near their car, after all if an auto is driving in the middle of the lane and going either side every two minutes, you really can’t be anything but alert and I have always been taught “being alert is the best way to avoid an accident” 😛

This post actually started in my mind after I tweeted saying this because the Mumbai folks were cribbing about their auto drivers and the response I got was am I sure 🙂

Dear Mumbai people I know strike is bad but if u hate ur auto wallahas so much please pass them to #Bangalore we’ll gladly take them

so tell me now folks u think the same 🙂 Trust me having an experience in auto drivers in four major cities in India I think Bombay really has the best auto drivers (it might seem like a case of andhon main kana raja but nonetheless) followed by Delhi (right now) and the only city which probably beats Bangalore is Chenai… so my sympathies with them, may be we can split the mumbai auto wallahs chennai if u promise to share the murugan idlies with me 😛

10 Day You Challenge | Four Books

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10 day you challenge

Have been wanting to do that since ages but not getting the time to do it all so today while driving to nandi hills for bicycling trip I decided to use the time sitting in the car to write a post 😉 benefits of an iPhone are never ending I say he he

So coming back to 4 books man this is becoming tougher and tougher how do I select only 4 from the many many I have read (actually what fun it would be to know exactly how many I have read till now alas good reads and other cataloging services are very recent) so what I am gonna do here is list the four books that come to my mind first could be the favourite could be not but I am sure it’s somewhere in the top if its coming to my mind first

1. The two Indian epics that is Ramayana and Mahabharata both in the modern adaptions though jaya and palace of illusion for Mahabharata and ashok k banker series for Ramayana. Some day I want to read the originals too though some day

2. Three men in a boat – love love love the book

3. Kite runner – I don’t think there is another book which deals with human emotions so well the book made me cry the book made me smile the book moved me beyond words

4. Lolita – a classic in it’s own way it deals with a issue close to my heart in a brilliant way

10 Day You Challenge | Five Foods

So today is the day to talk about food and nothing gives me more happiness he he I am a foodie to the core, so much so that I finally started a food blog too sometime back. But Five foods hmmmm this is going to be difficult only five I say 😉 nonetheless I will try

• Kadi Chawal – specifically made my mom I swear nothing in this whole world compares it. I have written about it on this blog many many times already I think and no I dont take the south Indian, rajasthani or sindhi version as a replacement. There is nothing like punjabi kadhi chawal 😀

• Fish/Prawns – why am I grouping this together they do are of the same type right… actually I would say sea food absolutely love it and in most forms I love them. I actually turned vegetarian for 5 years and it was fish that lured me back to the meat eating camp, even now I don’t care much about chicken mutton etc. Its the fish and prawns that I love

• Mangoes – Sigh I absolutely love them in all forms, raw mangoes, ripe mangoes and the very surprising thing about mangoes is that I grew up almost hating them, never liked them. The whole house will sit together and enjoy mangoes and I used to focus on my musk melons 😀 but now I love them

• Crumbles and Pies – I absolutely love fruit bakes, whether its the humble pies or the yummy crumbles they are most certainly one of my most favorite baked goodies… the balance of the fruit tartness and the baked crust is just divine

• 
• Samosas .. sigh what can I say apart from the fact that they are what they call the bane of my diets 😛 and if there is some jalebi along with it bas kya kahena

PS: All pcitures are clicked by me

10 Day You Challenge | Six Places

Tags

10 day you challenge, highway travels, just me, travel, wonder lust

Six places, I have been wondering on this yesterday shal I write about my 6 favorite places or 6 places which are on the top in the to visit list 🙂 In the end I have decided to do the to visit list

1. Leh – and that is happening this year a month from now. I think its one of the most anticipated trip will ever have. Been planning it for years now and finally its happening *touch wood* can’t wait
2. London – for the sheer magic of culture and history it goes in my must visit list
3. Venice – I am a die hard romantic at heart do I need to even say anything else
4. Grand Canyon – There is something about it which draws me to it… dying to see it
5. Bali – the sheer magic that I feel when I think about it is amazing, one day I wanna do a bag packing trip to Bali and I am clear that is how I want to explore
6. Sundarbans – Last but not the least this actually tops my list currently. I so have to visit them