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causes to champion, Domestic Violence, fiction, gender issues, inspired fiction, vawm, violence against women
Ranju was playing with her brothers and sisters, all 5 of them when her newly married uncle came visiting along with his new bride. She always used to look forward to the visits from uncle, he would bring along with him sweets from the city and a adult male presence in the house which was missing since her father left them all to deal with their luck and poverty one day to become a man of God, a man of God he wanted to become when he really couldn’t even become a man of life. In her uncle she tried to find her father, a father they had lost.
She was smitten by her aunt too. Pretty like any other new bride, gentle with her, she played with all of them while uncle and her mother tried to work out how will they survive the next month. When they were leaving the aunt asked Ranju if she wanted to go to city with them. The thought of a vacation excited her, she packed her bags quickly and was ready to go. A couple of days passed by like a fairy tale – good food, new clothes and many places to see. After couple of days the aunt suggested her that why doesn’t she stay in the city with them, study in a good school. She was enrolled in the near by school and the aunt brought her up like her own daughter. She had kids that treated her like their elder sister. Time passed by Ranju graduated and started doing a job, the aunt was more her mother than the one in the village. And like all girls one day it was declared that she is ready or marriage, some rishtas came her way and the one that sounded suitable to everyone was promptly fixed. A decent looking guy who runs his own shop and a nice family what else does one check. Ranju and Mohit were married with all the grandness the aunt could afford.
However reality dawned a couple of months later when she realised that the shop is owned by the father and he actually does nothing in it, a job was arranged by the uncle who came to her rescue. However Mohit didn’t last in the job long and when Ranju asked him why, began a new chapter in her life, Mohit slapped her the first time that day and the abuse never stopped after that. The mother in law and everyone else in the house would stand and watch when Ranju was being beaten and later verbal and emotional abuse would follow from all of them saying that if she didn’t even care for her mom, its only money that mattered to her. The thought that she has already troubled her aunt too much and her mother could hardly do anything. Bringing up 4 children with no source of income wasn’t easy made her tolerate the abuse and so did the fact that she was carrying her first child.
The abuse continued, eventually the aunt came to know about it but hardly could did anything she had her own kids to look after, she would sit at times and think how life came a full circle and her situation became much like her mother, probably worst she atleast didn’t have anyone beating her, she would live on the money given to her by her aunt and Mohit’s brother. If she would talk about going back to work, she would get beaten again and slowly this started taking toll on her health but she held her fort. Today she has by her sheer will power managed to bring up a daughter and a son who are both educated and working, who stand by her and ask their father to stop if he tries to raise his hand. The emotional abuse unfortunately still continues but she has made the focus of her life her kids and derives her pleasure from them.
Ranju’s story is unfortunately a story of many women in India. We as a society need to do something about it. Stand up raise a voice, do something about. If you observe domestic abuse around you, don’t be afraid to interfere. You could save a life
Sometimes our social conditioning and lack of education does not allow us to change our circumstances. We just stand on the sidelines and just let things be…. which is not a solution…of course nothing is – untill there is a self awareness!!!!
sadly meghna it doesnt end with education, I know many people who still behave the same way inspite of education
It makes me shudder to even think of being in a situation like this but sadly it’s cold, hard reality for a lot of women.
yes 😦
I know, it may be wrong to post any comments on her, when i am not in her shoes.
But I feel that it totally depends on an individual how she handles a situation. I have seen many ladies who have been through worse situations, but have finally emerged as winners.
You ask how long is long enough? I say its the first time, that you stop it. Else you have accepted it forever.
I understand what u are saying but trust me sometimes no support, social pressure etc just leaves one with no option but to tolerate it 😦
A standing ovation for this story. If its fiction, I call it a true story as this will match to over millions of women in India alone. Your blog made me strongly write too on this subject. And I will.
thank u so much nikhil and u must must write
When society stops viewing domestic violence as a “private” matter, perhaps more people will speak out. Silence is the best weapon an abuser has, and a horrible friend to the abused. Until the abused find a safe way out, we can do nothing but educated them. Each person has to make up their own mind when enough is enough. Sadly, being fed up comes from within. When a person gets sick and tired of being sick and tired, then and only then will they strive to make changes. Fear is a monster!
It is a sin to sit back and watch someone get beaten. Very sad world we live in – very sad.
“Silence is the best weapon an abuser has, and a horrible friend to the abused.”
I couldnt agree with u more, as a society we need to stand up for our women ateast stand with them when they complain
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People spend their entire lives hoping for change to happen and someone miraculously saving them from such abusive set ups. More often than not, it doesn’t happen and they are stuck in the rut forever. That said, it is also the moral duty of anyone and everyone aware of such an instance to do something about it..
yes it everyone’s moral duty, but wondering what can be done to wake people up to that
Even if one has support its difficult to stand up for self and take that step towards freedom. So with no support at all its understandable. I hope the kids can atleast now help set things right.
hope that too
Sadly most of this story is true to life for many .
and that is the bitter reality of life 😦
Sad
very
I wish you would write a post on how to interfere, Sinnamon. I realise I’m mostly too intimidated to go up to strangers and ask them to stop.