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Just 5 minutes back I was reading a post by Starry, the post stuck a chord. Now the readers here know I have been battling with weighty issues for a long time now. Due to health problems etc etc I am what they call in common language FAT or even obese…Well now I know it and u can see it too but does it help when u call me that in face? I have posted before on how I was bullied through the school on being fat. Let me tell you what happened with me sometime back actually quite sometime back about a year or so…

Me and N had both decided that we seriously wanted to give yoga a try and inquired around a bit and got to know of this yoga instructor who came to our society to teach some people. People said he is good and called him Guruji… so I took the number and fixed a time for about 6am in the morning for the first class where he will teach just N and me… now I am not a morning person but still got up at 5:30 in the morning, did the routine morning tasks and reported for the class at sharp 5:55 am in the club house.

A middle aged  fit man walked in at around 6 and introduced him as Guruji…We all sat down and he started asking us why we want to do yoga… N went ahead and told him the usual – holistic exercise treatment, stress reliever etc. He turned to me and before I could say anything he said “I can see you are obese, what else is your problem” The statement irked my already irritated self in the morning. But I decided to ignore that statement thinking he just might be wanting to be technically correct and told him about my other health problems and that what I want to achieve from yoga is feel healthy and yes losing weight is one part of it, he gave me a look which was like what losing weight is just a part of it? anyways he started teaching me and what would happen would be as follows

Guruji : Take your hand like up…… …… …. (turns to me) its ok if you can’t do this. U are obese no…

Guruji : Bend down, lift ur leg up…. ….. …. …. (turns to me) its ok u dont do, U are obese no….

and  this became his way of talking, with every time he used the word I was drawn away from any respect one can have for a GURUJI…

The second day of the practice he came up to me and said.

U must detox your body, be on a liquid diet for as long as possible. Atleast 1 week to 10 days. And take Isabgol and clean your system. You must have loose motions. You are obese no…

I was like what??????????? Anyways I still tried to listen to him thinking that he is the guru after all

and than after 2 days a lady came inquiring to him that can he teach her at the same time he is teaching us, though we had paid through our nose for a private class we didnt really have a problem because there is hardly any difference in 2 or 3 and plus the lady was our neighbour but man guruji had some other thoughts and thak before even checking with us he replied…

No I can’t teach you with them, u see if it was only this gentleman it would not have been a problem but here we have her also, as you can see she is obese and I need to deal with her differently. So please I can’t teach you with them.

And I was like WTF????And that was the last day I did any yoga with him… Now in all possibilities I don’t think he meant me any harm or wanted to really insult me. But he was really insensitive about the way he spoke and that hurt me infact hurt a lot and I was put off yoga for a very long time.

I really fail to understand that why a simplest thing like being sensitive to people’s physical or any other problems is so difficult for us

I have a very very close childhood friend who had a birthmark near her eye, the veins in one of her lower eyelid were swollen since birth and hence protruding out. This left a huge scar on her self esteem. As if battling with that was not often she would have to deal with all kind of things from people. I have myself shouted back at people who came up to her and asked her “so you are kani (can’t seen from one eye)” one person even told her to make use of handicapped qouta to get admission somewhere as she can understand aakhn ke wagah se padh nahin paate hoge (due to the eye u might not be able to sudy well)???? and this when she actually had a perfect sight….

I don’t understand why it’s so important for us to judge and slot people. fat or slim? fair or dark?  adopted or not? tall or short? Why can’t we just let people be people? I loved what starry said (and dear I am quoting u here word to word)

I have friends who are overweight or even obese. I will not call them fat. Not because I feel pity for them, nor do I think it’s bad to have excess weight, nor do I have contempt for them. It’s because I know what they are put through for having a body shape that many people look down on, have a problem and judgments about, and how they have numerous traumatic and super-challenging experiences as a result of the discrimination. My friend is my friend, she’s not her weight…to me.

And it’s not just about the weight it’s about everything (read her post which talks about Adoption and many more things). I think we need to learn to be sensitive towards people, chose our words with care and sensitivity and say them with empathy…

In short Tol Mol Ke Bol

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