India is a country where we say “Athithi Devo Bhavah” meaning Guest is as good as God. But don’ you think this God should have some rules to abide by… I have been having a lot of guests in the past sometime and have something to say to my Devo’s…
- It would be a good idea if you can inform that you are coming specially if you intend to stay for some days and its not just for my conveience, its for yours too. I too go out sometimes and I am not sure would you like to wait outside the house
- I understand that there might be cultural differences between me and you and you might get surprised by seeing the way I am dressed at home and its ok for u to get surprised but ITS NOT OK for you to look at me top to bottom and bottom to top 3 times.
- Yes I agree I have married a south Indian but that doesnt mean I can wipe out 27 years of existence and habits. I am still a roti eater and probably will be like that all my life. Please dont make faces when you see that.
- What we are doing with our finances, how much we earn or why currently its only person is earning and how are we managing our EMI’s is none of your business. Unless we ask you for money I don’t think you have anything to do with any of these things
- Yes my son speaks more or less in English because that is the langauge that is spoken in our house the most. I would be happy to see him speaking in Telugu as well as Punjabi but the world is not ended yet, he is not even 2… He has ample time to learn all this, so please keep your judgement about the fact that I am bad parent to yourself.
- Its not ok for you to treat my live-in help who is basically my child’s nanny as your personal servant and its not ok for you to expect my servant to wash your under-garments
- And last but not the least its CERTAINLY NOT OK for you to tell me that I am very fat and I should not have sweets and then when I try and follow my diet ridicule that by calling it tanturms
PS: Sorry guys to u all, I have been running mad and not read any of the blogs recently will do it soon….
Monika's World 
Pingback: Dear Guest · ldfdc
Very nice post monika….
i have ad similar situation in the past….
five people arrived unannounced three days in a row, i extended invite for one day only.
The woman who visited me, wanted to know where i bought stuff, so for each item i was supposed to tell her the shop i bought it from and the price.
They are from MP and so is my husband, and i am from andhra, i am a rice eater and they had a lot of trouble understanding how one can eat rice every single day, my answer the way you eat roti every day DUH
Coming to finances, how much did your house cost, what is the emi, how much do you pay for insurance and taxes, what is the income tax rate in NY, this is a very expensive place, are you able to save anything, and at the end, how much do you make?
my son speaks english and spanish, she wondered whether i have any intentions of teaching him hindi, i was like, no i have no intention, the world wont come to an end if he doesnt speak hindi.
and yes the last question, kya re tu aur tera pati kitne mote ho gaye ho” lagta hai tu bahut khana khati hai….
tats none of your effin business bia%%h
oh dear I can so feel ur pain…
hugs
Ohh Monu hugs to you. Such people are everywhere, arent they? Why can’t they mind their own business? Take it one day at a time Monu and ignore their comments…dont lose you head for it.
ya I agree they are just everywhere… ya I do that usally shilp but sometimes the rant helps 🙂
hugs
as an adult I am yet to host guests enough to feel like this but I remember when we were kids and stayed in Delhi. Being a north Indian, so many of the family n relatives n friends would pass by and it used to be the mandatory halt as they would either change trains or take bus from there onwards to haldwani etc..picking them up, dropping them and the hosting part amidst every other thing…
It amazes me to think how mom used to manage things.. 3 kids, local social activities, guests stopping over etc.. I am sure they felt frustrated too at times but never let us realize then.
I think our generation has started understanding the need to call and come..
just pray to god that u dont have to host such ones…I mean guests are a pleasure but if they behave like this they become pain
and oh our moms they were different beings yaar sometimes I feel like saluting them
All these lines seems to have been inspired by the mother-in-law (or some-in-law) guests 🙂
Yes nobody should prevent anybody from having sweets – thatz gross!!
no not really I do have equal complaints from the mom side too but I do agree its a tad bit easier to take from them because u have know them all ur life
Rude and Ruder.
I dont know which one makes the angrier. The asking your maid to wash their clothes. or calling me fat or the you cannot eat roti.ARGHHH!!!
Have they left? Dont ever open your doors to them!
It was so tough eeks
ya finally they have left
oh these unwanted guests… I tell ya…
somehow my Mom frets a lot over them and we have to keep them in the house…
I really want to give them a kick up their backside… but rein in due to my Mom…
at indore we hvae no trouble… everyone knows how social i am… !! tee hee…
just keep a scowl on your face whenever you talk to them… they will take the signal and not come again… !!
But i can totally understnad what you r going through…
{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
oh yes somehow moms are like this only its the same story here with mom and mil both… gosh I guess the elder generation sees it in totally different perspective
LOL so what will u do when I come 😉
hugs hitchy
when you come… !! I let you straight into the kitchen… !!!
you sound like a wonderful cook… !!!!
not to worry i and hetal will assist you… !! we make lots of delicacies… and put on a lil more weight !!!!! 😀
LOL he he yes yes we will do that hitchy
and I sound like a wonderful cook???? 😛
your omchilla…. baked omlettes are hit..
and my wife knows very lil non veg or eggs dishes…
so… 😛 😛 😛
he he done hitchy when I come there we will all cook together 😀
{{{{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}}} Monu! The world is beautiful! Just leave such parasites away 😦 Sorry, I called them that 😐
Such ppl do exist everywhere! So, no use trying to set them rt!
I get irritated too when ppl don’t convey their exact pgm! Our whole routine n our pgms r upset! Nthg to do with calling us bad hosts, its all abt being practical hai na?
N abt clothes, u won’t believe a colleague hd questioned me when I ws in 3/4ths and got bk properly from the husband 😛 Can u imagine a person who I thot ws from our gen dng that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Am surprised abt the Roti part though! – We both r from the South but we eat more Rotis than rice .. n my BIL who is from UP loves rice more. Isn’t it all abt personal choices? They hv no business telling us what we shud eat!
Abt finances, less said the better 😉 I hv hd enuf qs y we both hv decided to settle in India n r nt going abroad 😉 Well, y shud I even explain to such ppl that something matters more than money for us :P. I mean thatz left to each couple and completely an individual choice. Just give a stare 😛
U r a gr8 parent n what language Oju speaks hs got nothing to do with it! Ridiculous 👿
Under-garment job 😦 I feel so bad for the helpers! Such ppl shud be given enuf clothes to be washed one day 😦
Fat,thin,thin,fat – Lend a deaf ear! If fat, they say become thin! If someone is thin, they say why is the person so weak? Doesn’t he get food @ home? One qs I hate bcoz it depends on much more than just eat n exercise! Genes n Body nature!
I salute u girl for putting up with them 😛 I wud hv spoken up and got ridiculed by this time 😉
Luv u dear 🙂 Hugs n forget such ppl 🙂
he he rightly said they are parasites only eeks
yes I mean why can just people understand this small thuing???
horrid when our generation does it it feels even more bad
are yaar they need to say something thats it i GUESS
oh yes we get that question too, how come u didt go to us… some problem kya? are meri marzi yaar
hey thanks swaram sometimes there is just no choice
and hugs u back tighly
very true.. people always find ways to comment on others without even giving a thought on what they are upto! well, that is life anyways… ignore things that are of little importance!
true Mohan very true… its just that sometimes taking the rant out of the system helps
Give them a dose of their own medicine.Ask them embarassing questions abou their finances, tell them how expensive things are these days and now with 3 ppl extra in the house, oh my gawd what is her dress sense – how on earth can she wear red with blue – that is so LS, tell maid to answer back to her and when she complains ask her to get you another maid if she can, maids these days have so much tantrums etc etc etc 😛
Guess where I picked up this from? Pune.When friends of friends of friends would drop by and just stay put for days on end, not realizing tht we were all on a very srict student budget and would not leave even when we asked so this is how we would deal with unwanted guests 😛
LOL I like this idea SMM….next time
hugs
hugs monika !
hugs to u too dear
I agree to all the points Monika…
It does not make sense asking and showing tantrum on one’s way of lifestyle…
These kind of blogs put me always in thinking mode …..
Knowingly or unknowingly Do I do the same ..be it a guest at somewhere or be a friends meet or general conversations…..
Can we treat these as a general conversation or are these kind of comments intentional….
I have no idea……
u know puneet U have raised a very point here… but tell different situations call for different reaction
Though I totally against the fact of making judgement on anyones lifestyle.. its after all their life but my dear it also makes a difference on who and how are they saying like…
Like we have know each other for years and now if u come and ask me whats happening with the finances since only one has a job that will be concern but if a person who I am meeting for the second time (and the first time was on the wedding) asks this I dont know how to react
bash them up. And throw them up!
I wish we could!Sigh.
When I come to visit you, I’l even make the rotis…I am a roti eater too ( some fake south indian I am :D)
he he I agree how I agree I wish we could….
lol so cute and no yaar the surprising part is everyone at my house eats rotis too…even MIL and for that too they are blaming me sigh
I agree with SMM – give them a dose of their own medicine 😀
he he she has a rocking idea isnt it 😀
ouch, i feel for you girl!
hugs and some cheer to get u thru those guesting times!
thank u girl
hugs
I have faced such guests all my life, and I can understand how you feel, just ignore them:) if one is thin it is understood she is not happy and if one is fat then also why?
and Finance, we Indians have this bad habit of prying into other;s finances..this is true even professionally, even some MNC people say that this is very specific in India only that if pone employee is givemn a bette rpackage, all other come to know or make it their bussiness to know how and whys:)
In life we get all sorts of people, not all are of our liking, sometimes they are rather opposite, but if its for a short time, I bear with them..I have many relatives who wouldnt serve us even simple food, but when they come to our place they want savouries and very special treatment…..but what to do… we cant choose the relations.
I agree we cant choose the relations and thats the best thing abt friendship isnt itt
Oh all this has put me into lot of thinking now….Though i share your feelings yet i wonder if i behave like that too. (I think i let people live their own life) But who knows may be i have said things unknowlingly which turned out to be personal for others. May be I have said things which i myself would not have felt bad about when asked for but which actually can be very sensitive and personal for others.
Your post surely made me realise – i too should be more careful now on.
Thanks.
u know all of us at times do things unknowlinggly and most of the times these things are with the people close to us so that i think its ok…
I was fuming by the end of the post. I’d say you’re still very civil to still have them at your house. I would have asked them to go live in a hotel…..and really, some people don’t wash their own undergarments?
But yeah…sometimes we encounter such specimens. start nit picking them and see the fun 🙂
ya I would have loved to ask them to go but then sometimes there are things u want to do but just cant sigh
OMG! There should be some rules for hosts as well. For one, entertaining such horrible guests should be banned under all conditions!
Yes yes and some more yes to this rule D…
You know I hope soon they launch a guest repeller kind of a product…..
he he prats if u make it thats going to be a guaranteed success and then u share the profits with me to give u the idea
You know we actually can start a service instead of a product we will do everything that they did in Ocean’s 13 to the real jury for the 5 diamonds award. I am sure it would be effective 🙂
hugs. Lots of it. I’m sure u needed them more when your guests were around.
thanks dear
hugs back to u too
Rant once a while is good to clear the system, Monix. Bring it on!
1. I absolutely cannot stand unwelcome guests. People should have the courtesy to call and come.
2. People come and stare at you? 😡 Weirdos!
I know of people who even say that they wear salwar to swimming pool and I ask which pool allows that because while growing up in India we always had strict rules in our camp that only swim suits be allowed in the pool. I don’t know why people think that one should wear pants and salwar and swim.
3. People forget that we are diverse. I have heard arguments from both sides. How can you eat Wheat 24/7? How can you eat Rice 24/7? Arre what is with others what we eat and when? Why do people have the tendency to force their food habits on others?
4. Absolutely! no one has the right to question anybody’s financial situation not even their grown children’s. Same way adult children too shouldn’t go around questioning how their parents spend their money.
5. Language chauvinists irritate me.
6. Undergarments! People who make others wash their undergarments are sad.
7. Oh Monix! this is very common among Indians world over. They are always obsessed about weight. You are either too thin or too fat never perfect. That is the first thing anyone says when they meet you.
ya I hate them too but I guess people in India still dont understand that they think we are behaving snobbish if we ask them to
Salwar kameez in a poool?????????? gosh eeks
yes thats exactly my point sols, each to his own… people think what they do is the only right thing
Yes yes I hear u on that and I agree when u say abt parents not asking kids and kids not asking parents too… thats how it should be but alas its not
I find the undergarments things the most yukky here
and weight I know its kind of became a part of my life now
hugs sols
Sols, Monix, you know the other day, I saw an Indian couple at the pool in the hotel where I am currently staying. The lady got in the jacuzzi with her pj and the guy was wearing some sort of lungi with a banyan. the hotel mngt guy pointed out the “swimming trunks only” sign when they were done and about to leave.
OMG…thats the worst part, entering a pool in PJ’s….and they have an issue if i wear a two piece in pool, i do it cos i had the body…
This has to be your MIL, correct?
na masood my MIL lives with us and she is a sweetheart 🙂
this was soome distant relative
wow…one of very few who actually praises her MIL…
*touchwood*
Its so difficult to tell them to bugger off on their faces, and it really gets on my nerves. Will you believe it, when I visit India. I have to ‘visit’ my own home because there is a relative living there and he has all kinds of stupid comments to make about my weight. Ignore Mon, just ignore, that is all I can say.
It’s totally wrong to land without informing!! Ideally one should ask if they can come. I just can’t imagine why is it assumed that dropping in like this is fine.
Many people give themselves the right to tell us what our ideal weight should be, how we should raise our kids, what we should eat… this is outrageous, so is noticing how you dress! This must have been maddening Monika!
I feel guests in India are definitely rude.
Pingback: What Should You GoSee? » Blog Archive » Dear Guest « Monika’s World