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Dear Ojas,

Yes so my child, the brat, the prince.. yes you turn 5 today. Before I get into other details, can someone explain how did this happen? Where did the time fly? Wasn’t it just yesterday that I remember seeing those two lines on the pregnancy test and first jumping in joy and then sitting down and crying because I couldn’t believe it was true. Wasn’t it just yesterday when I went for my first ever scan all scared and tensed, wasn’t it just yesterday when I saw you the first time on that ultrasound screen your smart dad trying to see from all angles if he can figure out the gender ;) Wasn’t it just yesterday that I went through the most traumatic night of my life when we were told that we have lost you and wasn’t it just yesterday that we finally held you in our hands at a full term contrary to what every doctor predicted, wasn’t it just yesterday my child? It certainly feels like that

Now anyone can see how you have grown in the last 5 years, from a tiny infant to when you started crawling to walking to talking (phew that is when my peace vanished :P), you started going to school and started learning to think logically, articulate and observe a lot of things, you started to fall in love with cars and bikes and ATV’s and that is when dada became the hero of your life and the focus from mumma started to move a bit (and yes your dad is right I am jealous ;) ), you started to begin being independent and I know that this is just a start. I have seen you grown leaps and bounds in the past 5 years and I think everyone around has, however today I want to thank you for how you have helped me grow in the past years. Grow as a mother, grow as a human being, grow as a feminist, grow as a cook, grow in every part of my life.

You came in my life a little more than 5 years ago and the first thing you taught me was fear and the power of prayers. I have always been the one who used to think everything is in your hands, you can make and break your own life but when I first felt you inside me I knew the power of prayers, I don’t know how but the mind automatically wanted to reach out to the one above and pray for you, you taught me what a strong emotion fear could be and how fear of losing ones dear one can make you do anything even if means being confined in bed for 9 months, even if it means praying everyday, multiple times during those 9 months.

When I held you for the first time in my hands, you taught me what delicate and precious means. You taught me what unconditional love is but most importantly you taught me that being dependent on someone you love isn’t really a bad thing, you taught me that its ok to be looked after sometimes and that you need it badly sometimes.

While struggling with those initial days of breastfeeding problems, PPD, colic you taught me patience and that a mom can never have enough of it, it’s a different matter all together that now you test it everyday ;)

When you fell sick for the first time you taught me the real meaning of the phrase “Doctors are God” and I am sure every mom will agree with me on that, till then doctors were just people to me, people with fancy degrees. However that day he became a God to me.

When you were trying to learn to walk, falling 100 times a day but getting up again and trying, crying not when you fell but crying if we tried to help you get up, child then you taught me perseverance

When I shouted and screamed at you the first time because I was too stressed, too bogged up by cooking, cleaning, feeding and changing you and you looked at me with those eyes that silently said “mumma calm down” you taught me that how much important ME time is for everyone in this world, whether it’s from you or your dad… you taught me that I function well after my timeout :)

When you became a fussy eater, refusing every thing we put on plate, you taught me to be creative in the kitchen and improve my skills (yes yes I know its a way to keep my frustrations away but god knows all mum needs loads of them :))

When you went on the stage for the first time, you taught me what pride really means. Even if you didn’t do any of the steps that were taught but still I had my heart swelling in pride and eyes wet with tears.

Last but not the least when you test my patience and be stern on what you want, walk away from me and get into your room angry and upset. When you want the logic and clarification of everything I tell you. You taught me a lesson that every parent needs to learn and eventually does learn. You taught me what I did to my parents and what goes around always comes back ;) because sometimes my dear child I can see so much of myself in you that it frightens me

Happy 5th Birthday my child, a beeeeg boy like you call yourself now and yes I know you want three cakes I am working on it, yet again learning something hopefully

Loads of love

Mumma

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